


I'll Always Live For Tomorrow

by annieapple24



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Actually Talking About The Problem Instead of Ignoring It, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Polyamory Negotiations, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Soulmate Sex, the good stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-02-10 02:48:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18651358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annieapple24/pseuds/annieapple24
Summary: In a world where soulmates are so rare that some people think they don't even exist, Roger is born with a name etched on his skin in golden ink. And he couldn't care less. Especially when he finds the perfect boy friend in John Richard Deacon, the man Roger is convinced is the love of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This plot was originally conceived as another server prompt challenge fic, but since it will no longer be posted for that, I decided to turn this into a multi-chapter fic. I'm not sure exactly how this is going to go, so I'm always up for suggestions! 
> 
> I know it might ruin the angst for some people, or even be considered a spoiler, but I want to note in particular that this, as with almost all of my Queen fics, is poly!Queen endgame. But it will be heavy on the John/Roger and Freddie/Roger for quite a few chapters. I'll probably be messing with the tags as I go, but y'all can definitely count on a happy, poly ending.

Soulmates were rare. So rare that some people had created elaborate conspiracy theories as to how soulmates had been faked for centuries. They were so rare that less than 1% of the population had a soulmate. 

Most people didn’t wait for their soulmates. That would have been absurd. But soulmates were romanticized. Many movies had been made about characters finding their soulmates, starting whirlwind romantic adventures. A load of bull shit which Roger had never once believed. 

It made no sense to Roger for a soulmate to be someone’s perfect romantic and sexual mate. Biologically, if two people are born from one ovum, they are monozygotic twins. Therefore, it only made sense to Roger for soulmates, two people coming from one soul, would be more like siblings or friends than like lovers. Monosoulgotic? 

Roger had never paid any attention to the golden symbols scrawled across his hip. He thought they were a bit cool when he was a child, given that they were in a different language that no one around him could translate. But that quickly wore off as Roger entered his teenage years and realized he never wanted to be tied to one person his entire life. Where was the fun in that?

It was John who changed his mind about the last part. The funniest person Roger had ever met once he managed to squeeze his way into John’s good graces. So smart, Roger could barely keep up with him when he talked about engineering. And so gorgeous he never failed to take Roger’s breath away. It hadn’t taken Roger long to fall completely head over heels. And somehow John liked him back despite all of Roger’s faults. Roger decided pretty early on that he would do everything in his power to keep John in his life for as long as he possibly could.

“Move in with me,” Roger whispered, his voice as soft as the hand he trailed over John’s bare thigh.

“What?”

“You said your lease was up soon, right? Move in with me.”

It had only been seven months since they had started dating. It was a step that Roger had never thought he would take so soon in his life. But that was how sure he was about his feelings for John. He had never felt this way about anyone before. And, honestly, they had been such close friends before they started dating, Roger was sure that if anything happened to them, they could find a way to make living together work.

John was quiet enough to make Roger nervous. “It was just a suggestion.” Roger drummed his fingers on John’s leg nervously. He suddenly felt the urge to leave the warm comfort of the bed and John’s embrace to sneak out to the balcony for a smoke.

“I’m just surprised. Is that really something you would want?” John asked, tightening his grip around Roger’s shoulders.

Roger nodded into John’s chest, happy their position gave him an excuse to hide his face. 

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now, and I think it could be pretty great. Cheaper for both of us. I can throw away that ratty chair you hate in the living room to make space for your couch. You can hang your McCartney poster over the bed-”

“Ah, that’s it.”

“What?”

“You just want me for my posters,” John teased, pressing a kiss into Roger’s hair.

Roger laughed, satisfied that John wasn’t freaking out or mad. A hand stroked through Roger’s hair as John thought quietly.

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” John said. “I think it’s a good idea financially, and I actually think that we could handle it at this point. And I’m still young enough to take risks like this without hurting too much.”

“I’m a risk now, am I?” Roger couldn’t help but say, giggling a little. It was admittedly a very good idea for John to think such a huge decision through like this, so Roger wasn’t really offended like he might’ve been.

John smiled. “You know you are.”

“So, is that a yes?”

“Yes.”

Roger immediately moved to kiss John, having to brace his arms on either side of John’s chest and roll him slightly onto his back. John’s hands stayed in his hair. They were both smiling too widely to kiss properly, but they made it work.

“I love you, John,” Roger whispered against John’s lips. He couldn’t remember ever being more content in his life.

“I love you too.”

As their kiss deepened, Roger could feel John starting to get excited, despite just having sex less than an hour ago. “We should celebrate,” Roger murmured happily, his lips trailing down John’s neck to his chest, licking at a nipple just to hear John gasp his name.

John’s hands tried to grasp at Roger’s shoulders, sliding up his arms, until Roger was kneeling too low down the bed for John to reach. He stuck his tongue out cheekily before nipping lightly at the insides of John’s thighs, enjoying watching his boyfriend writhe beneath him.

“Fuck, Roger, if you’re gonna do something, do it,” John panted. John’s hands, unable to reach Roger where he stayed tantalizingly out of reach, had moved up above his head. One hand tangled in his own long hair. It was so fucking sexy Roger lost his breath for a moment. And they hadn’t even started yet.

Instead, Roger trailed even lower, kissing behind John’s knees and laughing as John jerked away in shock. 

“Stop, that fucking tickle- ah, fuck!”

John’s complaint was cut off as Roger swallowed him down. 

Surprisingly, they got along better than Roger had ever gotten along with anyone ever before. Sure, they fought occasionally, but between Roger’s fiery temper and John’s sarcasm, that wasn’t too surprising. They made it work because they loved each other.

Roger loved to wake John up with a nice breakfast on the mornings John had important exams, making sure John was awake and had enough to eat, reading off flash cards to John as they ate. John had a tendency to buy Roger little gifts he saw while out, anything from candies to cheap sci fi novels to a pair of socks with rainbow stripes. Roger, never really having had a romantic side before, really enjoyed their dates.

And the sex. Hot damn. Roger was pretty convinced that he wouldn’t need sex with anyone else again as long as he had John. They both loved variety. They would switch up who topped who, which one got to tell the other what to do, rough sex and soft, romantic sex. 

For all he was concerned, Roger’s life was perfect. Until Tim quit Smile.

John and Brian sat on the couch, watching Roger pace back and forth, having nothing to take out his rage on.

“Roger, we knew this was going to happen. Tim has been talking about leaving for months now. You even already asked John to quit his own band so that we could have a bass player. Why are you so angry?” Brian asked, his tone bored but the concern evident on his face. The concern only grew when Roger picked up a paperback from the table to throw at the wall. The spine didn’t even break. Disappointing.

Brian was right though. They had known Tim was leaving. They all knew. Even John, who was more than happy to leave The Opposition for Smile (or whatever they would end up changing the name to), had known and excitedly started joining Brian and Roger more for jam sessions. Roger couldn’t quite explain his anger. He only knew that he felt it.

“It’s just fucking stupid. Yeah, we knew, but he didn’t actually give us any warning. He just left. And Humpy Bong? I thought he had taste. I can’t believe we ever played with someone who would leave us for Humpy fucking Bong.” It was a bit harsh, but that didn’t matter to Roger. 

John cleared his throat, turning to Brian. “Did we decide what we were going to do? About a singer? I mean, I know you and Roger can sing, but…”

Brian shrugged. “We should start looking for a lead singer. We can put out flyers, hold auditions.”

“Roger, you could do the flyers! Write them out in that bubble text you do so well! That would look cool!”

And just like that, John had said something that made Roger smile, even in the hottest of tantrums. Roger sighed, trying to force the tension and heat out of his body. 

“I like that idea,” Brian agreed, sharing a look with John. Damn conspirators, working together. 

Roger nodded, crossing the room to flop down on the couch. He crossed his feet over Brian’s lap and smushed his face into John’s stomach. Brian didn’t even bother pushing Roger’s legs away, which Roger counted as a win. And John’s magic fingers started to comb through Roger’s hair.

It felt so perfect. If only Roger knew how soon his life was about to turn upside down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to find a singer to replace Tim is harder work than expected. Luckily, Freddie stops by at just the right time! Or maybe the wrong time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully updates for this will stay regular! Hope you all enjoy!

Roger was in a bad mood the day of auditions. There was only one day that week that Brian, John, and Roger had all been available for a reasonable time slot, so they only had one day for auditions. It ended up working out. Not many people signed up.

“Their loss,” John had insisted. But they had all looked doubtful of what would come.

The day had been awful. Roger’s cat had peed on his favorite pair of sneakers, something she never did, and Roger had to not only clean it up and throw away the shoes, he had to change his entire outfit because none of his other shoes matched the way he wanted them too. He then arrived late to his morning class, panting from sprinting across campus, only to find out it was cancelled. The cafeteria was out of his favorite kind of coffee and John, when Roger tried to call him during a break, had been too busy to talk.

Bad moods were not conducive to the audition process. Roger knew this. So he tried to force a smile as he sat down in the uncomfortable auditorium seats, fiddling with drumsticks he wouldn’t even get to use today. 

John sat down next to him, quickly peeking over his shoulder to make sure none of the auditioners were looking from the wings before kissing Roger. He knew why John did it, but it still made Roger feel a bit worse knowing they were hiding. Brian knew about their relationship. Tim had known too. It only made sense for them to have a lead singer who knew as well, who wouldn’t beat them both up just for holding hands. But John was still a bit shy, not wanting to stir the pot with strangers. So Roger stayed silent, patting John’s knee in response, and let it add to his bad mood.

Brian sat on Roger’s other side, glancing over at them with a half hearted smile. They called the first person up.

It didn’t take long to cycle through the six people auditioning. Only two of them were really notable, but Roger wasn’t even completely convinced by either of them. They could sing well, but were quite boring to listen to. 

Brian dismissed the line of people, telling them to expect a call from him. Roger managed to wait until they were all gone before groaning in frustration.

“It wasn’t that bad, Rog,” John insisted, letting his hand rest on Roger’s leg now that they were alone. 

“That chap with the bad dye job was good. And he could keep up with us,” Brian said.

Roger leaned back, shaking his head. “Do we really want someone who doesn’t even know how to colour their hair? And let’s be real. He was technically alright, but he had zero flair. He would never work for a rock band.”

Neither disagreed with Roger, proving his point.

John moved closer to rest his forehead on Roger’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. “We could try again. Maybe wait a few more weeks until break? Find someone bored, looking for something to do with their free time?”

“And have them quit as soon as school starts again and they get overwhelmed? No. If this didn’t work, then we’re looking in the wrong place.”

The clang of the door jarred them out of their conversation. They spun around in their seats to see who had caused the disruption.

A very attractive man around Brian’s age walked towards them, looking a bit nervous. His black hair was long enough to almost touch his shoulders, and his frame was small. 

“Hello! Hope I’m not too late!” The man said as he came close to where they sat.

“Oh, Freddie!” Brian stood too quickly, almost whacking his elbow into Rogers face in his haste to greet the man. “So good to see you. I thought you might not make it.”

The stranger, Freddie, laughed. “I almost didn’t. But I didn’t want to disappoint you of all people.”

That was a curious thing to say. Roger, feeling left out of the situation, glanced at John who shrugged, just as lost as Roger.

“Oh, um, guys. This is Freddie Bulsara. Met him at a party awhile back. I ran into him yesterday and told him we were holding auditions today. He’s good.” Brian’s face was absolutely glowing. If Roger didn’t know better, he might think that Brian had a little crush.

Roger nodded, still a little confused. “Nice to meet you,” he said cordially, but didn’t bother leaning forward or shaking the man’s hand. John covered for him, smiling shyly and greeting Freddie with a wave.

“Well, Freddie? Are you ready?” Brian asked. Freddie nodded. “Alright. Show us what you got.”

It wasn’t even that great. There was raw potential in his voice, certainly, but Roger could tell Freddie hadn’t had any sort of vocal training. But his presence as he sang took up the entire auditorium. Freddie had chosen a Led Zeppelin song, an odd and difficult choice for an acapella audition that shouldn’t have worked at all. But Freddie somehow managed to get Roger to enjoy it.

Roger couldn’t help but become transfixed as Freddie moved around the stage, his hips moving in time as he found the beat of the song. He fumbled the words a bit, but he sang with his entire body, and he was dazzling. Freddie was beautiful. From head to toe. His deep dark eyes seemed to look right into Roger’s soul and admittedly had Roger falling a bit.

Roger could see the way the others looked at Freddie too. John’s eyes were wide as he stared at Freddie, occasionally glancing over at Roger as if to say “are you seeing this too?” with a flush over his cheeks. Brian, too, seemed awed by Freddie, in a way Roger hadn’t seen him since Roger showed Brian how to tune drums. 

The song ended, and Roger couldn’t help but let out a happy shout. Freddie looked back at him in surprise, but Brian just laughed and John smiled at Roger fondly. Brian and John both quickly agreed with a silent look at Roger that Freddie would fit in with them perfectly.

“Well, I guess it’s official. You are the new lead singer of Smile. We should change the name, though, I think,” Brian congratulated Freddie with a pat on the shoulder as the man climbed down from the stage and came back to talk to them. 

Freddie smiled brightly for a moment before his mouth closed and he tilted his face down. Roger wondered if he was self conscious of his smile. He didn’t need to be in Roger’s opinion. The smile had taken his breath away.

“Yeah, mate, you’re great. Hope you’re ready to put up with this lot, though,” Roger said, finally greeting Freddie properly, having shaken off his bad mood. 

John scoffed playfully. “As if you aren’t the worst one here.” 

That made Freddie laugh again. “I’m sure I can handle it.”

Roger went to copy the move Brian had just done, a simple pat to the shoulder, but somewhere, without Roger’s permission, it had turned into Roger slinging his arm over Freddie’s back. The problem was, Freddie was wearing a short sleeved shirt and Roger’s fingers grazed the skin on the back of Freddie’s arm.

The effect was instantaneous. A blinding pain on Roger’s hip, followed by some pleasure that tingled through Roger’s entire body. He snatched his hand away from Freddie, eyes wide and panting harshly, only to see Freddie looked exactly the same with a hand covering his own hip.

“Oh,” Roger said, his voice high in shock and disbelief. 

John looked at Roger in concern, his eyes searching over Roger for a sign of injury. 

“Everything alright?” Brian asked, noticing the strange way Freddie and Roger were staring at each other.

John understood what was happening before Brian did.

“Oh,” he whispered under his breath. Roger saw the sadness creep over his face, his eyes darting between their faces and the hand still clutching at Freddie’s hip. John had seen golden marks on Roger’s skin in the same place on Roger’s hip. And he was anything but stupid. He was able to connect the dots.

“Roger Meddows Taylor,” Freddie said softly, a smile starting to curl at the corner of his mouth.

Brian’s brow furrowed. “How do you know his middle name?”

Roger couldn’t help but look at John again. John was looking at the ground, his long hair hiding his face in a way he hadn’t done since they started dating. It broke Roger’s heart a little. 

Freddie, apparently having no sense of modesty, undid his pants and pushed them down just enough to see “Roger Meddows Taylor” scrawled golden across his hip. The color looked more beautiful against Freddie’s skin than Roger’s own pale skin. It made Freddie look regal. 

Now, Freddie’s face was stretched in a wide smile. It was gorgeous. Roger had never felt so confused in his life. This was not what he expected when meeting a soulmate. Not someone like Freddie. 

“Oh! You’re…” Brian trailed off, eyes flying over to John. 

“Apparently so,” Freddie whispered, still staring at Roger in awe.

Roger couldn’t quite agree with Freddie’s excitement, however. He could see John trying to subtly inch away, trying to escape the situation. He could also see the hurt in Brian’s eyes, evident that he really was crushing on Freddie. And Roger couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed, guilty about things entirely out of his control.

“Brian,” John said, without raising his face to look at Brian. “Maybe we should give them a moment?”

Brian’s head tilted in confusion, unable to disagree before John grabbed his arm and started to pull him out of the auditorium. Roger’s tongue was numb in his mouth, unable to call out to John, to ask him to stay. Perhaps it was for the best. John needed some space. And Roger should probably talk to Freddie.

Freddie frowned a little, watching as the door closed behind the other two. “I hope that wasn’t because of me. It felt a bit awkward.”

Roger rubbed a hand over his arm, his fingers fidgeting over the rough fabric of his jacket. “John and I are together. We’ve been dating for over a year now. Living together and everything.” 

Freddie’s mouth opened, but he didn’t look quite as shocked as Roger expected him to. Then Freddie smiled again. “Makes sense. You two make a hot couple.”

It was said so flirtatiously that it startled a laugh out of Roger. He hadn’t been expecting something like that, so positive and redeeming, from Freddie. But maybe Roger should have. He was his soulmate after all. 

“I, um… I should go after him. He tends to get pretty anxious and he might not be feeling great after this. Does Brian have your number? Can you get mine from him?”

Freddie nodded. “Go take care of him, dear. He’s too pretty to worry over something like this.”

Roger grinned. “It was very nice to meet you, Freddie. I can’t wait to talk more.”

“Neither can I.”

And with that, Roger jogged as fast as he could out of the auditorium after John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Freddie seemed to take that pretty well. Or is he just really good at hiding his feelings?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger goes to find John and make sure he's okay. John isn't taking the discovery of Roger and Freddie being soulmates very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple tag updates! Also, I think there was a little bit of confusion last chapter, but I'm hoping it has cleared up by now? 
> 
> Just to be safe:  
> John=Not Roger's Soulmate  
> Freddie=Roger's Soulmate
> 
> Going to be some drama now cuz of that. Enjoy!!!

Brian and John had already made it out of the building, and had disappeared entirely by the time Roger jogged out of the auditorium. Roger checked the parking lot first, but no one was in or around Brian’s car or Roger’s van. So Roger jogged around to the back of the building, hating every minute of the exercise.

Behind the building was a little alleyway of sorts where students liked to go for a smoke (or, at night, the occasional hook up). It was there that Roger found Brian and John, both sitting on the ground with their backs against the wall. John must have stopped and grabbed Roger’s cigarettes from the van, one almost burned through dangling between his fingers and the rest of the pack on the ground between John’s legs. 

Brian looked up as Roger stopped in front of them, trying to hide how hard he was breathing. But John’s eyes stayed on the ground, glazed a bit as he spaced out. Not the best condition Roger could have found him in, but not the worst either.

Roger had no idea what to say. His mind was still reeling, nothing really made sense, and for a moment Roger just opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, trying to think of anything he could possibly say to break the heavy atmosphere.

“I, um… I told Freddie that he could get my number from you,” he told Brian. 

Brian tilted his head. “Did you just leave him in there?”

“Yeah. I told him the situation and we decided it was best if I came after you two.” Roger bit his lip. “Maybe if he’s still in there you can find him and convince him we aren’t total arseholes.” He looked pointedly at John, silently asking Brian to let him take over in making sure John was okay.

“Okay. I’ll call you guys tomorrow. We can plan our first practice,” Brian said. He patted John’s thigh, politely ignoring the way John flinched away from his touch, and then stood. After one more steady glance at Roger, one Roger couldn’t quite discern, Brian left.

It was silent for a long moment. John’s cigarette burnt out and he methodically lit another, inhaling deeply but barely blinking.

“Can I have one?” Roger asked softly, crouching down in front of John.

“They’re yours,” John pointed out, flicking the pack towards Roger.

With a sigh, Roger pulled out a cigarette and lit it slowly, using the moment to stare at his boyfriend, assessing just how bad the situation was. John responding to him was a good sign, meaning he probably wasn’t having a panic attack. But he still had yet to look at Roger once.

The smoke did nothing to calm Roger’s spinning thoughts. “Look, John, I don’t know what to think right now. None of us have had any time to process anything. But whatever it is that has you worried? It isn’t worth worrying about.”

John laughed humorlessly, rubbing his hands over his face before taking another drag. 

“I’m serious, John.”

“Can we just go home, please?” John asked quietly. He flicked his barely touched cigarette away, not even bothering to put it out first. 

Roger nodded, putting out his own cigarette. “Sure, love.” He stood, holding out a hand to John and suppressing the urge to sigh in relief when John accepted and let Roger help pull him to his feet. Roger counted the win, even when his arm automatically went around John’s waist and John stiffened like he was trying not to pull away. Still, Roger pulled his arm back, respecting John’s need for space, but staying close enough to keep his own anxiety subdued.

The walk to the van was long, but the drive to their flat was even longer. Neither of them spoke, the tension so heavy it weighed down on Roger’s chest and made it harder to breathe. Getting inside the flat felt a little better, safer. Until he noticed the tears that had started falling down John’s cheeks. Fuck.

“John?” Roger asked gently, stepping closer, but keeping his hands raised slightly so that John would know Roger wouldn’t touch him without his permission.

John shook his head, stepping away from Roger. 

“Please just talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. I want to help.”

The silence was awful. John’s body shook, his breathing turning into tiny gasps. Roger waited, and eventually some dam inside John burst. “I have nowhere to go.” It was a murmur, quiet enough Roger barely managed to catch it.

“What do you mean? Are you… are you leaving? I don’t want you to leave,” Roger said. He could feel his own eyes burning but fought it. John didn’t need that right now.

A proper sob shook its way out of John, startling them both a little. “I can’t stay here. Not if you’re with him. I can’t watch that. I can’t be that person. It would break my heart. I love you too much, I couldn’t-”

“John!” Roger cut him off, blinking away tears as he watched his boyfriend spiral. “No one is leaving anybody.”

Stepping forward again, Roger gently rested his hands on John’s arms, signalling his every move in case he was reading the room wrong and his touch would still be too much for John. 

“He’s your soulmate. I can’t compete with that.”

Roger let his thumbs rub little circles into John’s arms. “I’m not asking you to. You know how I feel about soulmates. The way they are romanticized is bullshit. It makes no sense. I’ve always said when I met my soulmate I would love to be friends with them, but there was absolutely no point in dropping everything just to date them.”

John’s sobs were slowing down, but it didn’t stop John from scoffing at Roger’s words. 

“I believed you when you said it, too. It’s why I let you take me out on that date. It’s why I didn’t mind the mark on your skin. Why I let myself kiss you and fuck you and fall in love with you,” the words became heated at the end, spoken with frustration, the words spitting their way through John’s clenched teeth. 

Roger was confused. “And you don’t believe me now? Why not?”

“Because I saw the way you looked at him!” John yelled, pushing Roger’s hands away. “You couldn’t take your eyes off of him! And normally I don’t give a fuck if you check people out, but you were already falling in love with him. And now you’re fucking soulmates!”

“What? John, that’s ridiculous. No one falls in love that quickly. That’s not how love works.”

The anger in John softened slightly. “That’s how long it took for me to fall in love with you.” John’s voice was deep with hurt, the anger still simmering behind the words.

That brought Roger up short. It was true, they had been in love with each other before they had started dating. But John had never been willing to tell him just how long. They had met after on of Smile’s first concerts. John had been in the audience watching, and had come up to them with a couple friends to congratulate them on a great set. Roger and John had clicked instantly. But could John have actually fallen in love with Roger just watching him perform? Roger knew so little about love. John was the only person he had ever loved before, and it had taken Roger months to realize it let alone accept it. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that,” Roger said. “But I’m not in love with Freddie. And even if I was, I would still love you more.”

“But-”

“But nothing. I’ve known for a long time that I want you for the rest of my life John Deacon. You’ve changed me in ways I never thought possible, made me a better person.” Now, Roger took John’s hands, squeezing them as he looked into John’s eyes imploringly. “You’re not the person the universe supposedly told me I’m supposed to be with. You’re the person I chose to be with. You’re the one who I dream about at night. The person I love so much it hurts. Fuck soulmates. You’re the one I want, John.”

They were both openly crying now. And suddenly all the tension was gone. John shot forward, wrapping his arms around Roger and pulling him close. Roger buried his face in John’s neck, happily taking the weight when John slumped weakly against him.

“I love you so much, John. I don’t know what’s going to happen next. But I’m sure as hell not leaving you.”

“I love you too, Rog.”

They stayed like that for awhile, until Roger’s arms and legs ached and they had both stopped crying.

“Up for a cuddle, babe?” Roger asked, chuckling when he felt John smile.

Too lazy to make it all the way to the bedroom, they curled up on the couch together, lying on their sides with their arms and legs wrapped around each other to squeeze together to fit. Roger pressed their foreheads together, their noses brushing every so often when one of them angled to kiss. It was comforting. Roger could breathe again.

“Rog?” John asked after a while.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Roger opened his eyes, realizing they had been drifting closed. “For what?”

“I kinda ruined you meeting your soulmate.” John kissed Roger to shut him up when he tried to reassure John. “I’m still a bit scared of what will happen. But I really am happy for you, Rog.”

John hugged him tighter for a moment. Roger smiled against John’s cheek.

“It is kinda cool. I still think it’s going to end up like having a twin sibling. Maybe we can learn to speak in unison to freak people out!”

John shook his head fondly. Now that they were both calm again, Roger couldn’t help but feel a little excited. His soulmate. Freddie seemed like quite a lot of fun so far. He was the one who encourage Roger to take care of John. And he seemed quite okay with their relationship. Maybe everything would work out okay in the end.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and John need some bonding time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 100% just a filler chapter. But I filled it with smut, so I didn't think anyone would be too mad at me. (I also added a couple tags again!)

John did calm down a little eventually. Roger couldn’t convince John to skip all his classes the next day, but he did agree to letting Roger take him out a date that night, even knowing he would be exhausted the next day. But Roger was going to make it worth it.

He couldn’t sit still through his own classes, contemplating again if the switch to bio wasn’t enough and he should just quit school all together. Roger ignored his instructors and instead used the free time to come up with ideas for their date. 

Would it be better to take John out to a restaurant he liked or to phone his mum and have her walk Roger through cooking a dinner John would like? If they went out they could take a detour to the park and walk around in the moonlight. Or if they stayed home, John would be more comfortable, not having to worry about crowds or anyone judging them. It was a bit of a moot decision, really. John would appreciate whatever they did, and if he didn’t, Roger would do everything in his power to correct that.

Roger ended up mixing it up little. He hurried back to the flat as quickly as he could to throw together some sandwiches and crisps, grabbing a couple colas tucked back in the fridge. It took a bit longer for Roger to find a blanket, only to remember that there was still a couple of Tim’s stashed in the van from when they went to a party out in the country. 

Just in time Roger made it to John’s school, racing so that he could wait outside the building for John. Roger almost missed him, recognizing John’s ugly brown jacket walking in the opposite direction. He waited until they were settled in the van to lay a kiss on John’s lips, pulling him as close as he could with the stick shift between them. John hummed happily as he kissed Roger back. 

“Hope you don’t mind a little bit of a drive,” Roger said cryptically. The corners of John’s eyes crinkled with happiness as he folded himself into a more comfortable position in his seat. 

It was quite a beautiful day. Roger drove with the windows down and the radio blasting, the two of them shouting the lyrics to their favorite rock songs. The drive ended up being shorter than Roger remembered, and soon they were pulling up at the park. 

The park was small, not very popular. But Brian had shown it to him once as a favorite place to stargaze. It had been where Brian had taken him to see Venus (and where Roger had realized he had a crush on Brian, but no matter). Though they wouldn’t be able to stargaze, Roger figured John wouldn’t mind the privacy of the beautiful park for their date.

One look at John’s face assured Roger he had made the right decision. Barely managing to open the back of the van to grab the food and blankets, John pushed him up against the side of the van for a decidedly dirty kiss that left Roger panting and left Roger’s pants a bit tighter than before. John flashed him a cheeky smirk before ducking inside the van to grab the food.

Unsurprisingly, in the early afternoon in the middle of the week in a park far outside London, they seemed to be completely alone. John felt comfortable enough to sit with their legs entwined as they ate. 

“I’m excited about the band,” Roger admitted, sipping the last of his soda before lying back on the blanket with his hands resting under his head. He wished he had grabbed his sunglasses. 

John nodded, moving closer to lie down as well, using Roger’s shoulder as a pillow and folding his legs up. “I am too. Freddie is a good singer. I’m glad we found him.”

They hadn’t mentioned Freddie’s name since the previous night after John’s breakdown. It made Roger a little nervous, but also happy that John was willing to talk about it. 

“You are?”

“Yeah, I am,” John said decidedly. “Brian already likes him. And he’s your soulmate. So it’s safe to assume we will all get on well. And if he can write songs like Tim, then we’ll be all set.”

“Maybe we can write songs, too. I’ve been looking at guitars again,” Roger said, despite knowing John wouldn’t advise such an impractical financial decision. 

John just laughed. “Yeah, maybe. I’ll write one about premature ejaculation.”

Roger chuckled too. “Not a song about me?”

“Who said it wasn’t about you?” John teased.

Just to make sure Roger knew he was joking, John grabbed his hand and brought it to his mouth for a kiss. Roger squeezed and kissed John’s hand in return, keeping John’s hand in his and resting them on the blanket between them. 

“You’re really okay with it, though? Freddie being in the band? Him and I being friends? Because I do want to be friends with him. But I also understand if it makes you uncomfortable,” Roger asked, angling his neck slightly painfully in order to see John’s face.

John thought carefully for a moment. “It still scares me a bit. I think that’s okay though. And it will probably get easier when I get to know Freddie better. But I trust you.” John paused to turn around so that they could look directly at each other. “I trust you not to do anything behind my back. To tell me if something changes between you two.”

“I tell you everything, John.” It was true. Another aspect of their relationship that Roger had never experienced before. He hated keeping secrets from John, even when it was good news. He liked being able to share himself with his boyfriend. “I promise. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“I know,” John whispered back, leaning forward to kiss Roger again.

Roger moaned as he felt John dragging himself over, draping one of his legs over Roger’s so that they were lazily slotted together. He tangled one of his hands in John’s hair, pulling lightly until he felt John shiver against him, the other hand grabbing John’s arse to pull him closer. 

Their lips worked against each other, tongues licking into mouths and teeth nipping bottom lips until Roger was panting and aching for more. Roger wondered how far John was wanting to go here. They might have been alone, but they were still in a very public place where anyone could find them at any moment. It wasn’t exactly a situation Roger had never been in before, but it didn’t seem like something his shy and private boyfriend would enjoy. But one of the best things about their relationship was that John was constantly surprising him. 

It seemed that John had been thinking the same thing. “Fuck it,” he muttered against Roger’s lips. Then John swung his leg over Roger, sitting up so that he was straddling Roger completely. Before Roger could even process that, John’s hands were already unbuttoning Roger’s shirt and his fingers were sliding inside to trace over Roger’s skin.

Roger didn’t exactly have a thing for public sex, but there was something quite exciting about having John on top of him, hips having started rocking against each other at some point, where anyone could see them. It was doing things for Roger, and it seemed to be doing something to John, if the uncharacteristic whines in the back of John’s throat with every motion of their hips were anything to go off of. 

“John,” Roger groaned as John’s teeth bit into Roger’s neck and their rocking turned into thrusting. “John, what do you want me to do?”

“Here,” John grunted, his hands moving down to dexterously unfasten Roger’s trousers. It didn’t take much prompting for Roger to raise his hips just enough for John to work Roger’s pants down to free his cock. 

John’s lovely fingers wrapped around Roger just right, familiar but perfect. Roger gasped, keening as John stroked him just the way he knew Roger liked. John’s thumb flicked over the head, gathering the precome beading at the top and using it to slick his strokes. Roger couldn’t help the slight thrusts of his hips in time with John’s hand. 

Sitting up, John’s free hand roamed over Roger’s exposed stomach, tracing over the golden symbols on Roger’s hip in a way he had done a million times before. A way that meant John knew Roger’s entire body, from head to toe. Roger’s marks had never seemed to bother John too much before, sometimes even fascinating him as he tried to puzzle out what language they could be in.

Roger took John’s hand, pulling it away from his hip, and pulling it up above his own head. It was both an invitation for John to pin him down and a way to gauge where John’s head was at. Apparently, it was in a good place. 

“I get to mark you too,” John said, his eyes dark and his smile even darker. Any blood that was lingering in the rest of Roger’s body went straight to his cock at John’s downright wicked expression, the way that John immediately set to work biting and sucking a large mark high up on Roger’s throat. Roger already lost all hope in being able to hide the mark. He didn’t really mind too much. 

Deciding to change things up a little, Roger pulled his hands away from John, fighting with John’s trousers until he was able to open them and push them down to match his own. It was easy to push up against John’s cock, easy to convince John to wrap his hand around them both. 

Roger was starting to feel a little dizzy. Their hips worked, both of them fucking into John’s fist as he rubbed them off, squeezing their cocks together just enough to feel good, but not enough to chafe with the lack of lube. It helped when John paused to spit into his hand, the smooth feeling causing Roger to moan and dig his fingers into John’s hips, urge them faster. 

Their pace was frantic now, John’s stuttered breathing turning into groans as he got closer and closer to coming. John was so fucking beautiful. Roger had no idea what he did to deserve someone as amazing as John, but he would do everything in his power to keep him. Roger surged upwards to claim John’s mouth again, the feeling of being surrounded by John heady and powerful. Roger whimpered into John’s mouth, so close to coming Roger thought he might lose his mind.

John pulled away just enough so that their lips were still brushing and he could look into Roger’s eyes. Roger obediently kept his eyes open, despite his urge to close them against the onslaught of pleasure and excitement and that all-encompassing feeling of love radiating from John.

“Mine,” John murmured against Roger’s lips, his free hand coming up to touch the mark on Roger’s throat, pushing down just enough to make the bruise burn and cut off the tiniest bit of Roger’s air. 

“Yours.” Pleasure shot through Roger’s body, forcing a shout from his throat. Roger finally squeezed his eyes shut as he came, covering John’s hand and his own stomach. He could hear and feel John following along right after him, pushing his forehead hard against Roger’s as he cried out, warmth painting over Roger’s stomach. 

They stayed like that for a few moments, blissed out and barely able to move. They giggled and kissed each other softly, as if what they had just done was finally sinking in. 

Roger hadn’t brought napkins or anything they could clean up with, not having planned on a quickie in the middle of the park. In the end, they used the blanket to wipe up the sticky come, figuring Tim probably wasn’t going to ask for it back anyway.

John tucked them both comfortably back into their pants before he laid down again, crossing his arms on top of Roger’s chest and resting his chin on them so that he could look at Roger while they cuddled.

“Thanks for this,” John said. “I think this is exactly what I needed.”

Roger agreed completely.


	5. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little interlude in our story. Brian worries about everything. Mostly about Freddie. Brian just wants to make sure his new friend is okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a bit from Brian's POV to get his and Freddie's side of the story. I want to stick with Roger's POV for the story as a whole, but this little bit seemed necessary and might end up being needed again in the future. I hope it ends up working okay!

Brian had always believed that there was a balance in the world. Nothing good happened without something bad happening. But nothing bad happened without something good following. Bad days always turned into good days. And good days were better appreciated and savoured after bad days. 

This was the first time Brian wondered if that wasn’t really true.

Maybe he was being a bit dramatic, but it just seemed like bad day after bad day was coming at him. First he got a call from his mother telling him that his father was sick. Then Tim officially left the band and Brian and Roger were left flat on their asses. Just when he thought things were looking up, John agreeing to leave his band to play bass for them and Freddie, it turns out that Roger and Freddie are soulmates. 

Yes, Brian certainly was overthinking it, being dramatic. He had no claim on Freddie just because he had been the one to introduce him to the group. That wasn’t logical at all. But there was also the question of John, and his awful reaction to the discovery. John had phoned the next morning to let Brian know that things were alright, but… how did they know that? How could things be alright when everything was topsy turvy?

But for all his worrying, there was nothing Brian could do but carry on. Now, only twenty minutes away for their first band practice, Brian couldn’t shake the nausea, the worry, the terrible, awful thoughts that kept popping up in his mind. Who knew what was going to happen when they were all together again?

Unsurprisingly, Brian was the first one there. Roger and John would both be coming straight from class, and Freddie from work. It gave him more than enough time to sit around worrying, tune his guitar, set up the amps, work himself into a panic, retune his guitar, and stare at the wall twirling his thumbs around each other and trying not to worry so much.

Just his luck Freddie was the first one to arrive. Freddie greeted him with a happy smile, a hug, and an aborted move that Brian almost thought might supposed to have been a kiss to his cheek that had Brian’s heart hammering in his chest. 

“John and Rog might be a bit late since they are coming right from class. If you wanna do warm ups or something while we wait?” Brian suggested, trying not to stare at Freddie too much.

“Alright, sounds good.” Freddie’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. It reminded Brian of the previous week, the last time he had seen Freddie in person. 

That awful day, Brian had hurried back inside the building as quickly as he could, hoping to find Freddie before he left. But Freddie had still been in the auditorium, sitting bent over in one of the cheap seats with his head buried in his hands. His head had whipped up at the sound of the door when Brian entered.

“Brian. Well hello, darling. Thought you had left.” The smile on Freddie’s face was so obviously fake that Brian’s chest hurt just seeing it. Someone so beautiful should never look so sad. 

Brian had smiled back, hoping he looked supportive and comforting. He couldn’t begin to imagine what Freddie had been feeling in that moment. “Wanted to check on you. Rog said he had to leave rather abruptly. Didn’t want you thinking we were all a bunch of arseholes.”

Freddie had laughed. But his eyes had still been sad.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Brian had asked hesitantly. 

Shaking his head, Freddie had sighed. “No, I think I just want to go home. Thank you, though, dear. I’ll be alright.” Freddie put a little more effort into making his smile look real this time.

Brian hadn’t quite believed him, but watched Freddie leave anyway, not sure what else to do. 

Now, Brian couldn’t help but wonder if he had made the wrong decision. Brian wasn’t able to dwell on it for long, however, as John arrived with a quiet hello and Roger followed him in only a few minutes later. 

Everyone was more than cordial with each other, and their first practice together as a band went quite well. They taught Freddie a couple songs and he caught on quickly. Though his singing was still not the greatest Brian had ever heard, Freddie still drew all attention, even just practicing songs Brian had heard and played a million times before. But Brian was sure Freddie could help get the band where they wanted to be. His confidence was solid, his talent was unignorable, and Brian was sure there were more than a few tricks hidden up Freddie’s sleeves on top of that. 

Brian was surprised when the tension that had been in the air faded away. They were truly enjoying themselves as they played together. They ended up staying for longer than usual, playing around with songs from other bands, laughing when they covered songs terribly and cheering when they managed to actually play the intro to Immigrant Song fairly well. 

But once they started packing away their instruments, Brian felt like the room’s temperature decreased. Roger was talking John’s ear off as John neatly tucked his Rickenbacker in its case. Reversely, Freddie had wandered over to join Brian as he packed his own Red Special away. But Brian could still tell Freddie was watching the other pair out of the corner of his eye. 

“Come to my flat. I have some beer. We can watch some telly or listen to music or whatever you want to do,” Brian couldn’t help but suggest, picking up his guitar case and angling himself so that Freddie had to look away from the others to focus on him.

Freddie seemed to think about it for a moment but nodded. “I can’t promise I will be the best company, but that does sound like fun.”

“I’d like to get to know you better,” Brian said. “Especially if we are going to be in a band together.” 

They said their goodbyes to the others. Roger looked sad for a moment when Freddie told them that they were leaving, but he grabbed John’s arm and smiled. Brian wondered if Roger was taking it hard too. But at least he had John. And John had Roger.

Maybe that’s why Brian felt so confident as Freddie climbed into his car, despite the worry that clawed at his chest. They needed each other. Sure, Brian’s crush made him a bit biased, but Freddie surely needed someone right now. 

It was mostly small talk on the drive to Brian’s flat. Freddie didn’t have his own car, he refused to learn how to drive, so Brian offered to start driving Freddie to practices when he didn’t have class. Brian gave Freddie a decidedly short tour around his tiny flat and settled Freddie on the couch while he grabbed a couple beers from the kitchen.

“Music good?” Brian asked, hoping Freddie would agree and it would allow for some conversation.

At Freddie’s agreement, Brian pulled out the first Hendrix album he saw and put it on. He sat down on the other side of the couch and handed Freddie his beer. 

“I love this song,” Freddie hummed. Brian agreed, taking a sip awkwardly.

They listened for a couple songs, commenting on bits they liked or on ideas for future songs of their own. It was enjoyable, but Brian couldn’t shake that awkward feeling. 

“I just didn’t expect it to be that way, you know?” Freddie said suddenly, turning to face Brian directly. Freddie’s fingers fluttered nervously over the hem of his shirt as he spoke.

Brian moved to face Freddie too. “You mean…”

Freddie shook his head sadly. “I mean meeting my soulmate. I spent my whole life wondering what it would be like. I thought it would be romantic. Like in the movies. I didn’t even put it past myself to break out into song. But it was this. My soulmate running away from me to comfort another man.”

“I can’t even imagine what that must be like.” Brian had pictured a few times being born with a name on his skin and having someone out there perfect for him in every way. But he never imagined what it would be like for someone who was supposed to be his soulmate already being in love with someone else. And Brian knew for a fact that Roger was completely gone for John.

“I always knew it might not be perfect,” Freddie continued. “I spent my entire childhood hiding my mark from the other boys at my boarding school. They couldn’t all read English, but most of the ones that could knew Roger was a boy’s name. My parents knew too, of course. And I guess I spent so much time worrying about that, I never even considered worrying about something like this.”

Brian didn’t know that much about Freddie, wasn’t even sure where he was from that his schoolmates wouldn’t know as much English. But he did know what it was like to have to hide who you were from the world. And to constantly worry about what people thought of you. About parental shame. “My parents don’t know I am attracted to both men and women. No one really knows, though I’m sure a few people have figured it out for themselves. But I hope my parents never find out. My dad already hates this band stuff enough. When I told him I was thinking about taking a break from my PhD, he refused to speak to me for weeks. I don’t want to know what they would do if I showed up one day and told them I had a boyfriend.”

“Oh, I imagine it would be entertaining for a bit. Just to see their faces.” They both chuckled. Freddie sighed again. “I’m trying to stay positive. It’s not the end of the world. And John really does seem so perfect for Roger.”

“They do love each other a lot,” Brian agreed honestly. “But they both like you. You wouldn’t be in the band if they didn’t. It might be a bit difficult, but maybe it won’t be so bad.”

There was silence. Brian realized the record needed turned over, but didn’t want to leave Freddie to do so. 

Freddie made a sound that made Brian wonder if he would be crying right now if he weren’t with Brian. “I’m sorry about this, dear. I don’t usually do this.”

“Do what?”

“Unleash my woes onto others,” Freddie smiled dejectedly. “I must feel comfortable around you.”

Brian couldn’t help the warmth that flooded through his body at Freddie’s words. It was a bit inappropriate for the moment, and Brian really hoped he wasn’t blushing. He wondered if it would be okay to put his hand on Freddie’s knee or something to try to comfort him, or if it would be creepy. 

The decision was taken away from Brian when Freddie reached out to hold his hand. All the air immediately disappeared from Brian’s lungs, but he somehow managed to wrap his fingers around Freddie’s.

“Thank you, Brian,” Freddie said, scooting closer to Brian on the couch, just enough to press their knees together and make holding hands more comfortable for them both. 

“Anytime, Fred,” Brian assured him, letting him thumb rub little circles over the back of Freddie’s hand. 

Freddie’s smile seemed a lot more real this time, and Brian smiled back. He would do everything he could to comfort Freddie if it meant Freddie would smile at him like that every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm having a bit of writer's block right now. Next chapter is going to be Roger and Freddie hanging out alone for the first time. But after that, I'm not sure exactly where I want to go other than the obvious main goals. If anyone has any ideas, or maybe even requests, I would love to hear them and try my best to implement them. I do have... ideas, but I want to see what other people think. Let me know in the comments or hit me up on tumblr!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Freddie spend some quality time together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really can't think of much to say other than sorry this chapter took so long. But now it's time for some Froger bonding!

Roger was beginning to wonder if Freddie was ever going to call. It had been over a week since their messy first encounter, and yesterday had been their first practice together as a band. Roger had been hoping Freddie would contact him, asking Brian about a dozen times if he had given Roger’s number to their newest member to Brian’s annoyance, but Roger still had yet to hear a peep.

Freddie probably hated him. He had seemed fine to Roger the day before in practice, laughing and joking along with them all, able to hold his own with them. But obviously Roger had somehow fucked everything up already. 

It was hard to keep his freak out from John. Roger tried his best, not wanting to put that extra pressure on John. But John knew him much too well. He noticed Roger anxiously pacing around and drumming his fingers endlessly on every surface of the flat. Of course it drove John up the wall, but that also meant John refused to let it go when he asked Roger what was wrong. 

So as usual, Roger told him everything.

“Oh my god, just call him yourself, you idiot,” was John’s simple response.

From the table by the couch, John grabbed the notebook Brian had scribbled Freddie’s number down on and threw it at Roger’s face. Roger pouted, ignoring John’s smirk.

“I don’t want to bother him. He said he would get my number from Brian, and that implies he was going to call me and he hasn’t and that means he hates me.”

John shook his head and scooted closer. He gripped Roger’s arm, pushing him back and pinning him against the couch forcefully but playfully. Roger could feel himself getting excited. “If you don’t call Freddie right now, I’m not fucking you for a week.” John’s low voice sent heat down Roger’s spine.

“A whole week? Neither of us would last,” Roger said.

John leaned back, pretending to be unaffected, but the slight tenting in his trousers said differently. “Care to test that? You know how much I love edging you until you cry. Wonder what it would be like to do that for a week.”

That did not seem like something Roger wanted to challenge at all. He liked it when John teased him, but he was impatient as hell and couldn’t handle being teased for a week straight.

“I’m gonna go call Fred,” Roger said.

“You do that,” John said with another smirk.

Before Roger could figure out whether or not it would be weird if he left the room to talk to his soulmate or weirder to stay and force John to listen to the entire conversation, John kissed him on the cheek and went into the kitchen. The water turned on, though they had already done the dishes. It would give Roger privacy for his call. It was a very John thing to do.

Quickly, so that he didn’t have time to talk himself out of it, Roger dialed Freddie’s number. 

“Hello?”

“Freddie? It’s Roger.”

“Roger?” Freddie’s voice sounded so tinny over the phone, but there was still something about the sound that seemed to wrap around Roger like a blanket. “Brian said we weren’t going to have another practice until Wednesday. Have I missed something?”

Roger bit his lip. “No no. Yeah, no practice ‘til Wednesday,” he confirmed. “I was actually just wondering if you wanted to hang out later.”

“What did you have in mind?” Freddie asked.

“Maybe drinks? I know a good place Smile plays at sometimes. I could pick you up or I can give you the address and you can meet me there.”

There was a moment of hesitation from Freddie. “What about Brian and John?”

“I was hoping it could be just the two of us,” Roger said nervously.

“Does John know about this?”

It was a perfectly valid question, and a part of Roger appreciated Freddie looking out for John. But it still hurt him a bit that Freddie was making sure Roger wasn’t about to cheat on his boyfriend. “Yes, of course he knows. He was the one who practically shoved the phone into my hand to call you.”

There was another silence. Roger sighed. 

“Okay, I’m going to be completely honest here. ‘Coz I feel like it’s best for both of us,” Roger said as calmly as he could. “John and I have had plenty of time to talk. It’s not the easiest thing in the world for him, knowing that you’re my soulmate. But he trusts me. And he’s going to trust you once he gets to know you better. He doesn’t want to stop us from having a relationship. Being friends.”

“You’ve really talked it through, then?” Freddie asked.

Roger bit his lip, thinking his next words over carefully. “And I really want to get to know you better. I mean, you’re my soulmate! Soulmates can’t always be romantic, surely.” Roger stopped for a moment, hoping his next words would help Freddie more than hurt him. “I know this probably isn’t easy for you. I love John more than I ever thought possible. But I bet you and I would be fucking amazing friends. And I can’t bear to let that opportunity go to waste.”

“I think so too,” Freddie said after a moment. 

Roger grinned. “So you’ll go out with me tonight?”

Freddie scoffed playfully. “I will hang out with you tonight. A couple drinks. Whatever you like. Just have me home at a decent hour or mum will be cross.”

“Who is mum? Brian?” Roger doubled over laughing as he heard Freddie accidentally snort at his joke and then proceeded to sputter in embarrassment.

“Obviously. What time will you be here to pick me up?”

…

Roger took Freddie to one of his favorite pubs. It was one that he frequented with Brian and Tim, both for gigs and for relaxing with a couple pints. He took John there pretty often too, usually for group outings, but usually when it was just Roger and John they went to clubs so that John could dance.

Freddie seemed delighted with the place. The music was good, the beer was shit, and the people were loud and friendly. Roger couldn’t wait to move on to bigger and better things, but for now, Roger loved the atmosphere of the small little pub. And it seemed that Freddie did too.

They got a round and found themselves a quieter booth, away from the band rocking away at the other side of the room. It was the perfect volume for them to talk and still hear the music over the din of the pub.

There was no awkwardness, no hesitation in their conversation. Roger asked Freddie about his day which launched Freddie right into a story about one of his cats almost breaking his record player, leading Roger to start a conversation about The Jimi Hendrix Experience. 

“I’m just saying, Brian is totally our own, personal Jimi. He’s amazing,” Roger said before taking a long pull from his glass. He wasn’t really drunk yet, but he felt relaxed and loose. He let himself stay that way, even knowing it would most likely result in him making a total fool of himself that night.

Freddie agreed with him. “Yes, Brian is fantastic. The first time I heard him play I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I can’t wait to find out what else he can do.”

Roger couldn’t help but make a suggestive noise at that. He thought about pursuing that idea, asking if Freddie would be interested in Brian the same way that Roger was sure Brian was interested in Freddie. But it felt too soon. He wouldn’t push that yet.

Instead he changed the conversation back to music. And then to books to movies to fashion.

“I just don’t think Smile has embraced that glam look the way it should. We need to be bolder. Experimental,,” Freddie was saying loudly. There seemed to be stars in Freddie’s eyes. Or maybe that was just the beer. But either way, Roger couldn’t help but find Freddie’s passion exhilarating. 

“I’m not sure how thrilled Brian and John would be about it, but I bet we could convince them,” Roger suggested excitedly. 

It was only when the band finished their set and the music switched back to the old jukebox by the wall that the conversation started to peter out. Roger took a break to run to the loo while Freddie bought them another round.

Roger went to sit back down at their table before he realized Freddie was still at the bar. From Roger’s vantage point, he could see that Freddie was talking to a young man, closer to Roger’s age than Freddie’s. Then Roger saw the way Freddie’s fingers lingered on the stranger’s arm and the way Freddie batted his long, dark lashes. He was flirting.

The overwhelming urge to walk over and push the stranger off of Freddie startled Roger. He had no reason to feel possessive. It was exactly the way Roger would be reacting if it were someone putting their hand on John’s knee. But Roger had no reason to be feeling this way about Freddie. 

Forcing himself to turn away, Roger walked back to their table, settling in at an angle so that he couldn’t see the bar. A part of him wondered if Freddie would leave him there to go fuck the stranger. It’s what Roger would have done before he met John. The number of times he had ditched friends for a nice shag was higher than Roger cared to admit. And Freddie was his soulmate. Roger probably wouldn’t be that mad if Freddie ditched him. Just jealous, apparently.

Roger didn’t have to worry long, however, as Freddie returned only a few minutes later with drinks in his hands. 

“Sorry, got caught up. Thought that man was never going to take no for an answer,” Freddie smiled, pressing himself closer to Roger in the seat than was necessary. 

“Was he trying to force you?” Roger asked, blood turning ice cold and temper growing hot. He could already feel the itch to rise out of his seat, find the man and shove the man’s own balls down his throat. 

But Freddie laughed, calming Roger a bit. “Oh, I wanted it. But I couldn’t leave you here all by yourself, could I? This is our night.” It was said with such conviction Roger couldn’t do anything but relax and smile widely at Freddie.

But for some reason, this time it was harder for conversation to start. They both tried various topics of small talk. 

“What’s wrong?” Roger asked after it got to be too much. “If you really wanted to go with him, you should have.”

Freddie shook his head. “It’s not that. I just… have been wanting to ask you something. But I’m not sure. It might be too personal.”

“What do you mean?”

Biting his lip, Freddie looked away. Roger tried not to stare at the lip trapped between Freddie’s teeth. “I wanted to ask about you and John.”

It was a bit of surprise for Roger, but he tried his best not to react. “What exactly did you want to know?”

“Just… about you two in general,” Freddie said. “Like how you met. And how long you’ve been together. You and John just seem so perfect together. But I don’t really know anything about your relationship.”

Roger smiled. It was hard for him not to anytime he talked about John. “You really want to know?”

“We said we were going to get to know each other better. And he is clearly a big part of your life. I want to know.”

And then, as if sensing Roger’s hesitation, Freddie placed his hand on Roger’s. It made Roger’s entire body tingle with pleasure, almost overwhelming, with their bodies sensing their connection. It was an unexpected gesture of intimacy. Roger didn’t mind at all. 

“Well, I met him after one of our first concerts.I met him afterwards and I thought he was one of the most gorgeous things I had ever seen…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night pillow talk with Roger and John. Then Freddie has an idea for the new band name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I am so sorry this took so long. First I was working on the To Get To Feel Alive sequel, and then I got sick, and now it's just been so long without an update. But I'm back with Roger/John fluff and Freddie being adorable!
> 
> I also have a Tumblr related announcement in the end notes!

After hanging out with Freddie for the first time, Roger’s life calmed down a lot. Well, calm wasn't exactly the right word. He was in a rock band after all. But the drama that had been lingering in the background since the moment he met Freddie had started to ebb away.

They had had several more practices together, all of them going as well as could be hoped. John was more comfortable with both his place in the band and his role in Roger’s life. Brian wasn’t worrying as much now, and it was much easier for Roger to coax a smile out of his friend. And Freddie, though he had hidden any of his true feelings on the matter from Roger, seemed much happier. 

In an exciting turn of events, they had been able to snag a couple gigs at cool pubs in Liverpool. Freddie had gotten busy planning their costumes, enlisting the help of Roger to comb through the stalls of Kensington market for any great deals on clothes Freddie deemed glam enough for them. Brian and John stayed far away from this ordeal, reluctantly modeling the least ghastly numbers for the others only when begged and pleaded. 

Despite trying all he could to calm down, and despite the fact that the first gig was still a whole week away, Roger could not help almost vibrating with excitement as he lay in bed with John.

“If you don’t stop that, I’ll make you sleep on the couch,” John said darkly, not bothering to look up from the book he was trying to read in the soft lamplight. 

“Whatever do you mean, my dearest Deaky?” Roger said in a voice as close to Freddie’s as he could manage. He did it both to grate on John’s nerves and to earn a blush from his boyfriend. Roger wasn’t even sure if John noticed that he blushed every time Freddie called him Deaky, but that didn’t mean Roger couldn’t use it to tease him.

John did blush, but much more of his efforts were put into closing his book so that he could slap Roger’s bare arm with it. “Why are you so restless tonight?” The book was gently tossed onto the nightstand as John gave up on it and turned onto his side to give Roger his full attention.

Roger sighed happily at the feeling of John’s fingertips running over the skin of his ribcage. It was soothing. “I’m just thinking about band stuff. I just want our first time to be amazing.”

“Well, first times aren’t always perfect,” John smirked at Roger’s unintended innuendo. “We should know.”

“Oh don't bring that up. I didn’t mean to! I was just really excited,” Roger protested. “Are you ever going to let me live that down?”

John’s grin widened mischievously. “Would you ever let it go if I had been the one to give you a bloody nose?”

Roger decided not to respond to that.

“Our first time was not storybook perfect. But it didn’t need to be. And we more than made up for it many times after that,” John continued, making his point. Roger couldn’t deny it was a good one.

Their lips met briefly as they both remembered their nervous, slightly tipsy first time so long ago. Roger added an extra soft kiss to John’s nose before he pulled away. Their legs tangled together as they shifted down to lie facing each other on their sides.

“I know it’s a bit stupid. I’ll calm down for a bit, I promise.”

John smiled, stroking a hand through Roger’s tangled mess of hair. “I know you will. Even if I have to make you.”

Roger laughed, his eyebrows quirking as he thought of all the fun ways John could help him calm down. But instead, John settled deeper into the pillow and closed his eyes, sighing deeply. Roger happily cuddled up to him again, wondering when the hell he started to like cuddling almost as much as sex.

It was quiet for a few moments, but Roger wasn’t ready to sleep yet, and he didn’t think John was either. He decided to try a new line of conversation.

“Brian and Freddie have been pretty chummy lately, don’t you think?”

John made a soft noise. “Not that surprising. They are friends. And with Tim gone and us dating, Brian could use a friend.”

That was true. “But you don’t think it might be something more? I mean, I know Brian at least hasn’t been able to stop making heart eyes at Freddie since he joined the band. And Bri’s an attractive bloke, surely Fred sees that.”

“I’m sure he does,” John agreed. “That doesn’t mean they are going to start fucking. Do you think Brian would even be into that? I’ve never seen him interested in blokes before.”

Roger shrugged. “No one had seen me interested in blokes before I met you.” Roger punctuated the sentence with exaggerated mooney eyes and touching the tip of John’s nose.

“Hmm.”

“Don’t worry, love. I won’t push. Much,” Roger said, earning a disbelieving glare from John. “But wouldn’t it be cute if I could say I was the one who got them together? I could make them name their first born child Roger.”

That earned a snort from John, which turned into a giggle from Roger. “You’re absolutely ridiculous,” John said.

“But you love me anyway,” Roger replied.

John didn’t deny it.

…

Two nights later, Brian sat with Roger and John in their apartment waiting for Freddie. It was supposed to be a band meeting, the last one they would have before driving to Liverpool at the end of the week. Unsurprisingly, Roger had already broken into their stores of alcohol, and the three of them were doing more chatting than planning as they waited for their fourth band member to arrive.

Brian had gotten on one of his rants about… something. Roger could usually keep up with Brian when he waxed poetic about science, but he was far too distracted tonight. Despite his promises to John, Roger had yet to fully subdue his nerves and excitement.

“I mean, we’ve been to the moon! You would think this would be far simpler. And yet, scientists are still scratching their heads,” Brian was speaking faster than normal, the way he usually did when he was talking about things he found exciting. 

John, sitting with his legs draped over Roger’s on the couch, cleared his throat. “Unless the moon landing was a hoax.”

Brian’s jaw dropped and his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “Are you serious? How could you even say that?”

Roger couldn’t fight back his laughter at Brian’s face. It was obvious that John had only said it to get a rise out of Brian, but it was still quite comical to watch Brian’s reaction. Not to mention Brian’s puzzled look was utterly adorable. Considering the smirk on John’s face, that was also a good part of why he had said it in the first place.

None too soon, there was a knock at the door, and John jumped up to answer it before Brian could say anything else on the subject. He ushered Freddie into the room, sitting squished between Roger’s side and the arm of the couch so that there was room on Roger’s other side for Freddie to sit comfortably.

This was ignored, however, as Freddie excitedly pulled a notebook from his bag and knelt in front of the long table in front of the couch.

“I thought of a new name for the band!” Freddie said excitedly, flipping through a notebook that seemed filled with sketches and writing.

Brian sat forward interestedly. “Oh?”

“So, I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and nothing has really seemed to fit. I mean, it has to fit all of us and the sound, the look, that we’re going for. Everything was too long, too hot, too cold. But then I figured it out!”

Roger tilted his head. “Yes?”

“Yeah, Freddie, don’t leave us in suspense,” John agreed.

Freddie huffed at their impatience. “Okay, listen to this.” There was a pause for dramatic effect. “Queen.”

The room was quiet as the rest of them processed Freddie’s suggestion. Roger felt John shift agitatedly against him.

“Queen?” Roger repeated. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“Queen! It’s the perfect name,” Freddie insisted, the excited smile on his face he didn’t bother to hide for once indicative that his suggestion was not a joke. “Come on, you guys!”

Brian seemed to share Roger and John’s hesitation. “It’s awfully short, I think.” Not a strong first argument from the guitarist of Smile.

Freddie ignored the easy response. “That’s part of the beauty of it! It’s simple, but has so many meanings and interpretations. And it’s short so it’s easy to remember, even once we go international!”

Roger chuckled at that, easily excited by Freddie’s passion and charisma. “International.” Roger really liked the sound of that.

“It is a bit…” John trailed off. Roger had a guess at what he meant.

Freddie tilted his head. “A bit what, Deaky?”

John blushed and looked away from Freddie. Roger could see John’s fingers twisting against each other nervously. 

“...a bit gay?”

It was quiet again. Brian stared at his feet awkwardly while Freddie looked ever more puzzled. Roger had to fight the awful feeling in his stomach at John’s words.

Freddie’s mouth crooked in confusion as he tried and failed to make eye contact with John. “Is that a bad thing?”

“It’s not bad, but it would certainly give people certain ideas about us,” Roger said, coming to John’s rescue. “I can think of several venues that would hesitate before hiring a band called Queen, especially when we show up in those fancy costumes you found.”

Brian nodded his head in agreement. It was enough to make Freddie hesitate, his excitement fading slightly, which tugged at Roger’s poor heart strings. “We need a name that will make an impression, one that is just as dramatic and eye catching as we are.” 

Roger considered this carefully. It’s not that Roger hated the name, but he had similar concerns to John and Brian. “Flashy and glam. Rock ‘n roll. But is it too much?”

“I figure, it doesn’t matter if it is too much,” Freddie shrugged. “We are already going to be too much for some people. We just have to prove them wrong. If we are going to do this, we should do it right. No holding back. Let them know early what they are going to get. Soon enough, we will be royalty.”

A noise of contemplation came from John. Brian also seemed to be lured by Freddie’s argument. Freddie was convincing like that.

“We could try it out this weekend,” Roger suggested. “See what we think. If we decide we hate it, we can just go back to Smile until we think of something better.”

“That seems fair,” Brian agreed. “No harm in that, I think.”

John nodded too, though a bit more hesitantly, making Freddie smile brightly again.

“Excellent! I’ll start working on logo designs, just in case we end up liking the name.” Though by the tone in Freddie’s voice, it almost sounded as if the matter had already been decided.

Roger wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but he if he was being honest with himself, he was more excited for the weekend than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to open up my ask box on Tumblr to request prompts! I'm still at unicornsapplesandstuff.tumblr.com . Feel free to send me anything! I'll do my very best to give you something nice (or fluffy or smutty or whatever you like!)
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, hopefully more to come soon!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Freddie share a moment before their first concert together. Then, there's a surprise in store the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit excited about this one. I think people will like what happens. Let me know what you think!

Roger took a moment by himself outside, crouched by the van, to smoke a cigarette. It was a routine he had had back when the band was called Smile and Tim was still their front man. So many things had changed for Roger in such a short span of time, but this felt familiar. 

They were due on stage soon. Roger was already dressed, his wrists already warmed up. But he couldn’t deny himself five minutes of seclusion to clear his head and get in the right mindset for the show. He was excited, and nervous, his heart beating fast in anticipation. 

“Everything alright?”

From around the side of the van popped Freddie’s head, glancing at Roger in concern but keeping some distance between them.

Roger smiled and nodded, nodding his head forward so that Freddie knew he could come sit with him. “Just needed some fresh air. I like to do this before I go on stage. The last bit of waiting is always the worst. I just want to go on now so I can quit worrying about it, you know?”

Freddie nodded in understanding. “Hopefully I’m good enough. I’ve never performed with a band like this before. I’m afraid I might crash and burn next to you all. It’s always much easier once I’m singing.”

“You’re gonna be great, Fred. Trust me,” Roger assured him, patting his knee and smiling as his fingers tingled. “I can tell these things.”

A bit of tension seemed to leave both of them as they chuckled. Then there was silence as Roger finished his cigarette and Freddie stared pensively into the distance.

“Can I ask you something?” Roger asked suddenly.He wasn’t sure where the urge came from to ask, but Freddie was already nodding before he could stop himself.

“Anything.”

Roger bit his lip. “Are you happy?”

There was a moment where Freddie could only look at Roger in confusion, not having expected a question like that. “Of course I am, darling. Why would you ask such a silly question?”

“I know it can’t be easy for you, Freddie. And I love getting to spend time with you and get to know you, but I know it’s nothing like what you must’ve spent your whole life picturing. I want to do anything I can to make it easier for you. All I want is for you to be happy.” Roger didn’t notice until he had finished rambling that his thumb had tucked itself into the waistband of his jeans to touch the golden markings on his hip. 

Freddie seemed to consider this for a moment, eyes watching the movements of Roger’s thumb back and forth. “Can I see them, Rog?”

Without question, Roger undid his jeans and pulled them down enough so that Freddie could see the golden symbols. It was nothing Freddie hadn’t seen before. They had looked at each others marks several times just for the sheer novelty of it. Though they had agreed not to touch each others marks, too intimate for their current situation. Freddie eyes skated over the marks Roger couldn’t understand, reading his own name.

“Your mark is in the language of my family. From a place thousands of kilometers away that I haven’t seen in years and will most likely never see again. I spent so much of my childhood wanting to live in England, wanting to go to the schools that my heroes went to, wanting to perform and to be famous. I spent my childhood longing for my soulmate, the person who would love me unconditionally for who I was.”

Roger couldn’t help but look away, feeling guilty. 

But Freddie shook his head and encouraged Roger to look at him again. “Roger, so many of my dreams have come true. I live in London. I’m in a fantastic band. I’m surrounded by the best friends I could never have even known to wish for. And as far as I’m concerned, I have the best soulmate in the universe. Maybe it’s not exactly what I pictured, but nothing ever is.”

There was a warm feeling in Roger’s chest. He smiled at Freddie, willing himself not to tear up and make a fool of himself.

“So to answer your question, Rog: yes, I am happy.”

Roger reached up and wrapped his arms around Freddie’s shoulders, pulling the older man down into a tight hug. Freddie hugged him back just as tightly, and Roger’s body went crazy being so close to his soulmate. It was an exhilarating feeling and Roger couldn’t help letting out a long, happy sigh. It was so much better than a pre-show cigarette.

“I don’t mean to break up… whatever this is… but we’re on in five.”

Roger turned to see John smiling shyly a couple feet away. He squeezed Freddie one last time before letting him go and standing up straight. Only to remember his pants were still hanging open.

“Oh, um… fuck,” Roger muttered as he fumbled to zip his pants again. He could see the animated panic on Freddie’s face as he looked back and forth between Roger’s open trousers and John. Luckily, Roger could see nothing but amusement on his boyfriend’s face. 

“We weren’t… um… we were just talking.” Then Freddie groaned loudly, most likely realizing what he was saying was actually making their situation seem much worse than it really was. Roger looked at him exasperatedly.

John, thankfully, erupted into giggles. “I know, Fred. Roger is a hairpuller. If you guys had been up to something, I would be able to tell,” he said, running a finger lightly over Freddie’s still perfectly styled hair. 

Freddie flushed quite a pretty color, and Roger couldn’t help laughing along with John. Soon, Freddie was laughing too. 

“Come on, we need to hurry before Brian...” Roger said.

“Before Brian what?” interrupted a voice close to the building. Brian was poking his head out of the back door and glaring at them.

With that, the three of them scurried back inside, ready to play the best concert of their lives.

…

It wasn’t the best concert of their lives, really, but it was still one of the most memorable in Roger’s book. Sure, it was easy to tell Freddie still wasn’t completely comfortable with his role on stage, but Roger was more sure than ever that soon Freddie would get over what was left of his nerves and would be the greatest performer of them all.

The energy both on stage and in their smaller audience was high and powerful. They were all excited to be playing their together, playing as Queen, ready to take the pub and then the world by storm. 

Roger could feel it every time John turned and bounced towards him, smiling brightly at Roger and then at Brian as they followed Freddie’s signal and ended a song in perfect sync. He could feel it when Brian’s eyes drooped low as he completely lost himself in his guitar solo or Freddie shouted out the notes so loud surely he could be heard from blocks away. 

They had found a cheap place to stay during the weekend, though it wasn’t the nicest place Roger had ever slept at. He shared a tiny double bed with John in one room while Freddie and Brian had agreed to share a bed in another room to save money. It was a good arrangement, even if Roger’s back was now sore as hell from sleeping on such a stiff bed. 

They hadn’t gotten to bed until early in the morning, having taken full advantage of the pub’s offer of free drinks before turning in. Roger could feel the headache before he even opened his eyes, but didn’t mind too much when he found himself spooned up behind a naked John.

Through the haze of sleep and the pounding behind his temples, Roger could remember wrapping himself around John the moment the door closed behind them. They had stripped each other naked with drunken, excited hands and John had flopped onto the bed on his stomach and begged Roger to fuck him until he couldn’t remember his own name. 

Dick twitching at the memory, Roger held John tighter for a moment, not quite ready to wake up fully. But too soon he felt John begin to stir, pushing back against Roger’s semi that had worked itself partly between John’s legs. Neither of them really liked hungover sex, but that wouldn’t stop John from teasing him for waking up hard.

“Good morning, love,” Roger whispered, his voice thick and gravelly. 

John grunted in response, before rolling over and tucking himself into Roger’s arms. Roger ran his fingers through John’s hair, rubbing his head softly to try to ease the headache surely wreaking havoc on John too. 

“Coffee,” John said finally, after a long enough silence Roger was mostly soft again and the radiator in the corner started making a soft noise.

Roger looked quickly around the room. “Don’t think it was on the priority list here. If you want coffee, you have to get dressed so we can go outside without getting arrested.”

John groaned loudly, burying his face in Roger’s neck and making Roger laugh when John’s chin hit a ticklish spot. 

“Come on, lazy,” Roger said pulling away from John and trying to break himself from John’s clinging arms in order to climb out of bed. “Let’s go wake the boys and gets some yummy, yummy coffee.”

With a bit more play wrestling and plenty of fake pouting from John, they finally pulled themselves out of bed and started pulling on fresh clothes. 

“Think they’re awake yet?” Roger asked as he buttoned his shirt.

John shrugged. “Unless they were up all night shagging like we were. Maybe they wore themselves out.”

Roger laughed, missing one of his buttons and having to go back and redo it. “Oh, yeah. Brian and Freddie shagged. They just can’t keep their hands off each other.”

“You were the one who was so insistent that they were into each other,” John pointed out, his sock not wanting to cooperate in getting onto his foot. 

“They are. But they are probably both so damn clueless. Do you remember how long it took us to realize that we liked each other? How long do you think it’s going to take Bri of all people to get his head out of his ass?” Roger chuckled. He grabbed his jacket and his wallet, stealing a kiss from John before walking to the door.

They knocked on Brian and Freddie’s door, waiting a few moments but with no answer. Roger went to open the door only to be stopped by John.

“We can’t just walk in, that’s rude,” John insisted.

Roger scoffed. “It’s even more rude if we go get coffee without them. And it’s rude of them to oversleep anyway. We have places to be today. We should wake them up.”

John shrugged, letting go of Roger’s sleeve. “If you say so. But if Brian starts throwing things, I’m using you as a shield.”

The door opened quietly, so Roger wasn’t surprised when no one noticed them walking inside. What was surprising was that Brian and Freddie were quite clearly not sleeping.

“Holy shit!” Roger exclaimed, the shock of the situation not stopping the wide smirk spreading across his face.

Because there on the bed was Freddie sitting in Brian’s lap shirtless (thankfully they both had pants on) with his tongue deep in Brian’s throat. At Roger’s outburst, they leapt away from each other, Brian having to catch Freddie’s arm to keep him from toppling himself off the bed.

Roger burst into laughter, doubling over as he struggled to breath. John too was giggling, but was attempting to be a bit more polite about it all.

“What the bloody hell are you two doing?” Brian said, voice breaking as he pulled the duvet to cover his lap. That only made Roger laugh harder.

John grabbed Roger’s shoulder, steering him towards the door. “We were going to invite you to coffee. But we’ll just give you some privacy.”

And with one last look at Freddie’s shocked but happy face, Roger was pulled out the door after John.


	9. Interlude 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's POV. John has been doing a lot of thinking lately. He reflects on what life has been like since Freddie found them. A trip to visit his mother is cut short.

John had been doing a lot of thinking ever since Freddie had walked into their lives.

Sometimes it was the sort of thinking that made John want to crawl under his bed and disappear. But Roger was always quick to soothe his worries away. Sometimes he thought about Freddie himself. The way Freddie could capture an entire audience with one smile, the way that Freddie could wear anything and still look beautiful or the way he looked at John as he did his make up before a show and John couldn’t help but blush. John had a feeling Roger knew about those thoughts too.

But most importantly, John thought about Freddie and Roger. He noticed that sometimes when Freddie thought no one else was looking, he would still look at Roger like he was the most amazing creature he had ever seen. And Roger would do the same thing when he looked at Freddie. 

And of course, they were soulmates. John had watched them click so instantly. They had the exact same sense of humor, a similar taste for fashion and the need to be liked by everyone they met. They were alike in so many ways that John had lost track trying to count them. 

John thought that things might change when Freddie and Brian got together. After he and Roger had caught the two of them together in bed in Liverpool, John had assumed that Freddie would be so caught up in whatever he was doing with Brian that he wouldn’t have time to think about Roger. But he was wrong.

Just like Roger could be totally in love with John and still seem to be a bit in love with Freddie as well, Freddie would spend a night at Brian’s flat and then end up all over Roger the moment they showed up at his and John’s flat for a band meeting. Freddie could be cuddled adorably in Brian’s lap, playing with Brian’s curls while they were all watching a movie together, and then Roger would make a joke and Freddie would crack up and stare at Roger like he hung the moon. 

And that was another thing John thought about. It was nice that Freddie and Brian had gotten so comfortable around them. Roger and Freddie always excited to have double date nights, splurging on a nice restaurant or making plan to watch something together at home. 

But if John had to accidentally walk in on them in a compromising position one more time, he might scream.

Brian and Roger had known each other long enough that they had a tendency to just walk into each other’s flats without knocking. It made sense. They were practically family at this point. It was, however, one of the reasons John refused to have sex in the living room until he knew for sure that the front door was locked. Brian and Freddie obviously did not have the same qualms. 

There was, of course, the night they got back from the pub, celebrating a successful gig. It wasn’t the first time they had all decided to all sleep at John and Roger’s flat after a night of drinking, and surely not the last.

“I could make us some tea, if that’s alright?” Brian suggested, motioning towards the kitchen. 

Roger waved him off, trusting Brian without hesitation. John happily wrapped his arms tighter around Roger’s waist, leading them in a slow dance to music only he could hear. 

“I’ll help you, dear,” Freddie said, popping up off the couch and taking Brian’s hand.

John thought nothing of it, swaying back and forth with Roger and giggling like a maniac when Roger tried to dip him and almost dropped him. It was only when they collapsed in a tangled heap on the couch that John realized how thirsty he was and that the others hadn’t come back in yet.

There was a noise coming from the kitchen, but John couldn’t figure out what it was. He thought that maybe Brian and Freddie needed help with something. Kissing Roger on his forehead, John stood and crossed to the kitchen doorway.

The first thing he saw was Brian, leaning against the counter with his head thrown back and his mouth open wide. His shirt was unbuttoned, exposing his lean chest. Then John realized Freddie was on his knees in front of Brian, head bobbing fast. Brian’s fingers were in Freddie’s hair and he groaned when Freddie took him all the way to the base, gagging slightly. John realized the sounds he had heard were coming from Brian.

“Seriously? You two can’t keep it in your pants for one bloody night?” Roger yelled suddenly behind him, causing John to jump in surprise. He realized how hot the room was and how fast his heart was beating.

Freddie’s lips made a popping noise as he pulled away from Brian, modestly positioning himself to hide Brian as he tried and failed to quickly stuff himself back into his tight pants. “As if the two of you won’t be fucking the moment your bedroom door closes.”

“At least we wait until there’s a door,” John pointed out haughtily, ignoring how much higher pitched his voice sounded than usual.

Still, John thought about how much happier everyone seemed to be since Freddie found them. 

It wasn’t until one night that John had gotten home very very late that he realized life couldn’t be as simple as he thought. All his thinking about what he would do if their situation got complicated could not have prepared him for that night.

John had made a weekend trip up to see his mother. She didn’t really know about his relationship with Roger, though at this point John wouldn’t be surprised if she had her suspicions. Some things were just easier not to talk about. But Roger didn’t mind much, and had made plans with Freddie. John was happy he didn’t have to worry about Roger getting lonely.

It was a nice trip. His mother made him more food than he could ever eat so that he had enough to take back to the flat with him. They chatted and caught each other up on their lives. But in a tragic turn of events, one of her friends called her late Saturday evening sobbing, her husband having just had a heart attack. Though John was more than welcome to stay at the house while his mother went to go be with her friend, John decided to go back to London early. He gave his condolences and hopped on a train, excited to surprise Roger, and most likely Freddie as well.

He spent the train ride too keyed up to nap or read. He stared out the window, wondering if he should stop to buy Roger flowers or something cheesy to make him smile. Of course then if Freddie was at the flat, like John was sure he was, he would pretend to be jealous John hadn’t gotten him anything.

It was too late to get flowers anyway. John was bringing food, and Roger would be happy enough just to see him.

The bag of food was a bit heavy, and carrying it all the way from the station was no enjoyable task. But John made his way by humming his favorite songs and going back and forth between picturing all the delightfully dirty things he could do to Roger if Freddie wasn’t there and all the fun mischief the three of them could get up to if he was. 

Soon enough, John was at the flat. He was happy to see the van parked around the block. Unless they had walked to a pub and were still there despite the late hour, Roger was most likely home.

Everything was quiet when he unlocked the door, but he could see the lamp on in the bedroom. John decided to stay as quiet as he could as he locked the door behind him and dumped the food in the fridge for later. Then John followed the light to the bedroom.

John wasn’t surprised when he walked in to find Roger and Freddie curled up together in bed. Of course he had seen the two of them cuddle before, usually on the couch and especially while plastered. John thought it was adorable. He also wasn’t surprised when Roger started giggling and Freddie was beyond laughter, not even able to make a sound as his mouth opened wide and his stomach shook.

Something about the scene filled John with warmth from head to toe. There was a part of him that felt like he was intruding on something so pure and intimate he didn’t even deserve to witness. Another part of him wanting nothing more than to be curled up there with them.

And then Freddie’s mouth closed, his eyes still crinkled up in amusement and his body still shaking. Roger’s giggles quieted and the two of them stared at each other. And then as if some silent command had been given, the two of them moved together, their lips meeting in a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Annie actually wrote a cliff hanger? 
> 
> Don't hate me for this, I promise I'll post what happens next soon. I already have it written, but I am curious to see what y'all think. Let me know in the comments or come chat with me on tumblr!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger's side of the incident and a bit of the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit, I enjoyed the reactions to the last chapter. But now it's time to start getting into the thick of it! This chapter doesn't have the entire resolution, but hopefully it will soothe some worries.

The night had been fantastic. Roger had been missing John all afternoon, but the moment Freddie had gotten off work he had come to Roger’s rescue. They found a nice pub to get smashed in, enjoying the band playing and flirting with random girls for absolutely no reason. And though Roger still missed John like crazy, Freddie was good at easing the pain in Roger’s chest.

So they drank. And danced. And gushed about their boyfriends. And sang along when the band started playing Beatles covers. Roger really loved singing with Freddie. It was a great night. 

Roger had invited him back to the flat, not wanting Freddie to walk across London that late at night by himself. They were drunk, so the walk had been an adventure. They almost got lost twice, despite having made this walk a dozen times. But they made it back eventually.

Responsibly, they filled some glasses with water, drinking as much as they could before Roger went to collapse in bed. Freddie climbed in after him, and Roger naturally opened his arms so that they could cuddle. He could remember how nervous they had both been the first time they had done this. Pretending to fight over which record to play next, wrestling a bit and ending up on the couch with Freddie on top of Roger. When they realized what they were doing, Roger had glanced over to see John smirking at them, his grey eyes so warm and happy. Roger had handed the chosen record off to John and wrapped his arms around Freddie, trying not to shake like a leaf.

Now, it was almost instinct to pull Freddie closer and run a hand through his dark hair. “I can’t believe you told that bird you had a ten inch cock. How did that even come up in conversation?”

“It really didn’t, I just felt like saying it,” Freddie grinned at Roger’s surprised laughter. “Besides, it’s not like it isn’t true.”

Roger scoffed at that, but couldn’t help laughing even harder. “Prove it.”

Freddie did not prove it, but it did spark a long conversation about penis size. Which then turned into a conversation about Brian and John, which somehow turned into various anecdotes about past lovers, celebrity crushes, Roger’s first drumset, a frog Freddie had found in a pond as a child, and the movie Vertigo.

By the end of it, Roger was giggling so hard he had to latch himself onto Freddie to avoid falling off the bed. Freddie was almost gasping, not even able to make a noise from laughing so hard. It was a wonderful feeling. Heady, sinking into every nerve in Roger’s body. And he was tingling from head to toe, their souls connecting.

Maybe it was the booze, maybe Roger was feeling lonely. Maybe it was the way that Freddie was looking at him like he had never been happier in his entire life. But for whatever reason, suddenly Roger was leaning forward and Freddie moved at the exact same time and then they were kissing and the world around Roger was spinning. 

Just as quickly as they had pulled towards each other they pushed away. Roger sat up, crawling as far away from Freddie as he could so that they were no longer touching. Freddie, dazed, moved slower, but gave Roger his space.

“I’m so sorry, Fred. I have no idea what came over me. I’m sorry, I… I can’t do that.”

Freddie shook his head, hand over his mouth and staring at the sheets twisted around them. “No, no. I don’t know either. That was…”

“God, Fred, I’m so sorry.” Roger was sure that he was going to cry. He was too drunk for this. A selfish part of him wished John was there with him. He could always think more clearly around John.

“Don’t be,” Freddie insisted. “We wouldn’t do that. Not to John. Not to Brian.”

Roger blinked until his eyes weren’t so wet and blurry. “But we did.”

After that, Freddie was silent. Roger buried his face in his hands. He tried to justify what had happened. They were absolutely piss drunk. They hadn’t even done anything. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, they had been quick to stop it. But somewhere in Roger’s alcohol addled brain he knew that the kiss wasn’t the real problem. It was that Roger wanted to kiss Freddie again. Even if Roger would rather cut off his own arm than hurt John like that, Roger was terrified.

A throat cleared loudly behind him and Roger jumped about five feet into the air before he whirled around to see John standing in the doorway. Roger felt his blood go cold and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. With a glance at Freddie, it looked like he was so panicked he might actually pass out.

“John,” Roger managed to gasp. He didn’t need to ask how long John had been standing there or how much he had seen. 

John tilted his head to the side. Roger couldn’t believe how calm he seemed to be. John wasn’t exactly the type to start screaming and throwing things like he was, but John didn’t even look mad. “You two should get some sleep. Looks like we need to have a talk tomorrow.”

Roger’s jaw dropped a bit in shock. He turned to Freddie to see if he understood John’s reaction any better than he did, but Freddie’s face had moved from lightheaded with panic to nauseated guilt. A distracted part of him hoped that Freddie wouldn’t vomit on the nice new sheets.

“John, we didn’t… we wouldn’t to do anything to hurt you. I have no clue what happened. I just…” Roger had no idea what to say. There was nothing he could say.

But it didn’t seem to faze John. He walked fully into the room, coming to stand next to the bed, so close Freddie looked like he might start crying as he stared at John. “I know. Just breathe. There’s no use in any rash decisions or emotions until we’ve had a proper talk. And we can’t do that with both of you wankered.” John paused for a moment, biting his lip. “So you both need to get some sleep so we can talk tomorrow. Sober.”

Roger nodded slowly, wishing he knew what was going through John’s mind. Usually he knew, but this situation was unlike anything they had been through together and Roger couldn’t even guess how John could possibly be feeling or what he was thinking.

“I’ll just… go sleep on the sofa, then,” Freddie said softly, avoiding John’s eyes as he anxiously pushed himself off of the bed. It was difficult with as close as John was standing, but John didn’t move away.

In fact, John looked like he might stop Freddie for a moment. But after a moment of consideration, he agreed. “That might be for the best.” Then, Freddie sniffed, apparently closer to tears than Roger previously thought, and John’s eyes went soft. He placed a hand on Freddie’s shoulder, waiting until Freddie made hesitant eye contact with him to speak again. “Try not to worry too much, Freddie. I promise I’m not mad. Get as much sleep as you can, alright? And maybe take some more water.”

Freddie nodded and slunk out of the room quietly, not looking as comforted as John probably would have liked. 

“Are you…” Roger fumbled for his words, digging his nails into the bedsheets to try to combat the awful feelings swirling in his stomach. “Can we… share the bed tonight?”

John touched his knee, soothing Roger’s worries only slightly. “Yes, of course we can. As long as you promise to sleep.”

Roger nodded his agreement quickly, too scared of ruining whatever spell was causing John to take everything so well. John left for a moment for the bathroom, going through his usual bedroom routine. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair, changed into sleep clothes and crawled into bed next to Roger.

There was no goodnight kiss, but John still wrapped his arms around Roger. It wasn’t as tight as John usually held him, but Roger clung to his arms and told himself he would do anything to keep John close to him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone finally sits down to talk and figure out what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wasn't planning on posting this chapter yet, but I wanted to try something. I have a couple questions I am going to put in the end notes, I would love to hear your opinion on little details of what happens next in the story!

In the morning, Roger woke up alone. There was a moment of panic, where Roger remembered what had happened and thought perhaps John had simply left him. Ran away, never to look back. 

But that was too unlike John to worry about for long. Roger quietly left the bedroom to look for John, noting the clock on their nightstand read it was still early. There was no one in the bathroom, and Freddie was still asleep on the couch. It was probably for the better. Freddie would be much more useful in a conversation if he had a good amount of sleep. Even if the sleep didn’t seem to be very restful from what Roger could see.

There was, however, a voice coming from the kitchen Roger easily identified as John trying to be quiet. He was talking to someone on the phone and trying not to wake him or Freddie.

Roger knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop. It was wrong for so many reasons, especially so soon after breaking John’s trust by kissing Freddie. But Roger was so scared of what would happen next. He needed to know what John was saying. What he was thinking and how he was reacting to the situation. Was he finding a place to move to so that he could get far away from Roger? 

“I know it’s early, but it’s important…” John was saying. “I’m not sure I should… I guess it probably doesn’t matter if I’m the one to tell you, it’s just… they kissed… yes, I saw them… I had to leave Mum’s early and I got back to the flat very late… no, they didn’t know I was there… guilty as hell, honestly I thought Freddie was going to start bawling even before he saw me. I felt so bad, but I didn’t want to talk about it while they were still drunk.” There was a much longer pause. “I’m not sure exactly what I want to do. But I think something definitely needs to be done about it and you should be here. I don’t know how much longer any of us can last like this…”

Finally, Roger couldn’t listen anymore. He pushed away from the doorway and turned around to see Freddie had one eye open, staring at him blearily. So Freddie had heard at least most of that as well.

“Maybe we should try to get ourselves presentable, then,” Freddie mumbled, pushing himself up into a sitting position. His hair was a mess and his eyeliner had smudged all the way around to form dark raccoon-like rings. Roger looked away, trying to ignore the feelings of shame threatening to drown him.

With a nod in Freddie’s general direction, Roger went and locked himself in the bathroom. A cold shower helped to clear his head a bit, but did nothing to make him feel better about his current situation. Too soon, he was dressed in fresh clothes and had no more excuses to stay in the bathroom any longer. Especially since he was sure Freddie needed to use it by now.

Time passed in a bit of a blur. Freddie moved past him into the bathroom with a guilty but sympathetic twitch of the lips. John handed him a cup of tea and got him sat down on the couch. Freddie emerged wearing one of John’s shirts and a pair of Roger’s trousers. It made Roger’s heart hurt. 

It wasn’t until Brian was walking through the door without knocking that anyone spoke.

“So… what now, then?” Freddie asked. Roger recognized his mask of self-confidence slipping into place and frowned. Usually Freddie didn’t pretend when it was just them. But maybe he needed to for a conversation like this.

John leaned forward, fingers twisting together. “Now, we talk. Because none of us wants anyone here to get hurt. So we need to figure out how everyone is feeling and what everyone needs.”

Brian nodded in agreement, but Roger and Freddie both stayed silent. Roger couldn’t bring himself to even look up from the floor. He knew John was right. But what in the world could Roger say?

“I’ll start, because I’m sure this is a bit overwhelming for everyone,” John said. Roger risked glancing up, but immediately looked back down when John was staring right at him. “Roger, you helped me through my feelings when we first met Freddie. I want to be able to do that for you.”

Freddie shifted nervously. Brian reached over to place a hand on his arm, making Freddie jump and stare at Brian with wide eyes. “No one is mad at anyone, Fred,” Brian tried to assure him, taking Freddie’s hand. Roger looked back at John, feeling slightly hopeful.

“Brian is right. No one is mad,” John agreed. “We get it. At least, as much as we are able to get it. You two love each other. You’re soulmates. This was never going to be simple.”

There was a bit of silence while Roger and Freddie processed this. Then, Brian nodded to John, prompting him to return to his original point.

“I’ll admit, it was hard for me at first. I was so scared that you were going to wake up one day and realize how much better Freddie was for you than I am, Rog.” Roger was quick to open his mouth to deny it, but John hushed him, touching his cheek softly. “I know, baby. It shouldn’t be like that. And it isn’t. I realize that now. Because I know how much you love me. And I also know how much you love him. And the more I see you two together, how much you love each other, it helped me realize that… a complex problem needs a complex solution.

Brian looked at John with interest. “What’s your idea?”

John bit his lip again. If Roger had been more confident in that moment, he would’ve pulled the lip back out and kissed it gently, the way John liked to do for him sometimes. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And I hadn’t been able to decide until last night, how I really felt about it. If I would really be okay with it. But I realized when I saw you two kiss, the way that you looked together… and then the way that you two stopped immediately and refused to do anything because you didn’t want to hurt Brian and me… I realized how much I trust you. And how amazing you two would be together.”

“I don’t understand,” Freddie whispered, his voice sounding hoarse.

“Basically, I’m saying… I, personally, would be okay with the idea of you and Roger… also being together. Roger and I would still be together. You and Brian would still be together. But you two would also be… no guilt,” John explained, fumbling for his words.

Freddie stared at John incredulously. “You can’t honestly think that would work?”

“And feeling like shit and avoiding each other out of guilt until things get even worse or something like this happens again is a better plan?” John said flatly.

“Don’t, John,” Roger murmured, avoiding John’s eyes again. “You have to admit it sounds… too easy.”

Brian clicked his tongue. “Actually, I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” Freddie swiveled around to stare at Brian with his mouth gaping open. Brian shrugged. “John is right. If we can figure out how to make it work so that no one gets hurt, it’s much better than any alternative I can think of.”

Freddie shook his head. “You couldn’t possibly want that though. Cheating on you whenever I like.”

“It wouldn’t be cheating,” John explained. “That’s the point. If you guys hadn’t stopped last night, that would’ve been cheating. Because it would’ve been behind our backs, without our permission. But this would be with our permission. We would know what you are doing and we would be okay with it.”

“But how? How could you be okay with it?” Freddie insisted.

“Because we trust you,” Brian said.

John turned back to Roger, cupping Roger’s face in his hands and bringing them nose to nose. John’s eyes were soft and serious. He really thought that this could work. “It would only be if all four of us are okay with it. But we could figure it out. Maybe start small. Just like the way you guys became friends. Like, just kissing and dating and stuff for now. And then we can talk again when you guys think you’re ready for more and we can figure out the more stuff.”

“Dating?” Roger asked. John just nodded in response.

Nobody seemed to be disagreeing, but Roger and Freddie were still hesitant. Brian leaned over to touch John’s knee, getting his attention. “In return for both of you telling us when you think you might be ready for more or when things get too overwhelming for you, John and I have to do the same thing. We have to tell you if we ever feel jealous or neglected. And then we can figure out how to fix that.”

It had been what was worrying at the back of Roger’s mind. How the hell to do this without hurting John or Brian. Could it really be as easy as they were making it sound?

Roger looked at Freddie. “If they are okay with it… maybe we should try it? ‘Cos I don’t know what else to do. I’m not sure anything else would work.” Roger didn’t say it, but he was sure that the feelings that had been surging inside him, the need to be with Freddie, was just as strong the other way around. Being without John was too hard of an option to even consider, but if there was a way to be with Freddie without hurting John, Roger had to try.

“I… I’m scared,” Freddie admitted. He looked as terrified as Roger felt.

“Me too.”

But John’s arms were wrapping around Roger, and he could see the way that Brian was hugging Freddie. And he couldn’t help but think John’s idea would work for them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to hear where people are wanting the story to go after this chapter. So, I have some questions. If y'all have any ideas or suggestions, I would love to hear them!  
> 1) Where should Roger and Freddie go for their first date (movie, dinner, zoo, etc)?  
> 2) Should Roger and Freddie kiss on their date and if so, who should make the first move?  
> 3) In the chapter from Freddie's POV (either chapter 13 or 14 depending on which answer) would you rather see Freddie having a heart to heart with John about his insecurities or see Freddie and Roger's first time having sex from Freddie's perspective?  
> Any other ideas are welcome as well! I actually have a little outline of how the rest of the story will play out, but I figured this could be a fun little thing to do to decide on the details! I just like to see what people think and I enjoy a bit of interaction.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Freddie on their first date. Finally!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I just want to thank everyone who commented with suggestions again. I wasn't able to work in everyone's ideas, but I did my best with what I thought worked really well for the story. I even got some inspiration for a way I can do the next chapter that I hadn't thought of before, which I'm very excited about!
> 
> That being said, I just want to put out a warning that it will probably be awhile before the next chapter. I have a feeling it might end up being longer than the other chapters with everything I want to work in, but I really don't want to split it into two since it's Freddie's POV chapter.
> 
> Thank you everyone again, I hope you like this!

Roger and Freddie put off having their first “date” for a couple weeks. Roger was still even hesitant to even call it a date. It was uncharted territory, and Roger had no idea how to handle it. But a few gigs and several conversations with John, Freddie, and John Freddie and Brian all together, they felt they could no longer put it off.

“So, what do you think we should do?” Freddie asked him one day after practice, after many not so subtle hints from John and Brian that they should get a move on and actually do something with each other.

Roger shrugged. “Something simple? Dinner? Or maybe the cinema?”

“Sounds nice. If not a bit boring.”

“Do you have a better suggestion?” Roger challenged.

Freddie thought about it, putting a finger to his lips and leaning back to rest his shoulder against the wall so that his hip jutted out, looking fucking amazing. It took a moment for Roger to realize he was staring, and his eyes flickered to John out of instinct. Of course John had noticed and had a knowing smirk on his face while whispering about something, probably him and Freddie, with Brian.

Of course, Freddie didn’t help Roger’s situation by licking his lips before speaking again. “I think I have an idea. Would you be free Friday night?” he asked.

Roger nodded. “What’s the idea?”

“Oh, I want it to be a surprise!” Freddie said, clearly excited now that he had an idea in his head. Roger knew how Freddie could get. “Don’t worry, you’ll love it!”

“I’m sure I will,” Roger agreed with a smile. 

Roger and John left together soon after that, once Roger had agreed when and where to meet Freddie so that they could walk to wherever Freddie’s idea was. They kissed each other on the cheek, smiling a bit awkwardly as they pulled away. Roger hugged Brian then took John’s hand and walked with him out to the van.

Surprisingly, Roger wasn’t nervous. He spent the next few days curious about what Freddie had planned but that was really it. He distracted himself a bit with John, having a few more conversations about feelings and beginning a relationship with Freddie, spending a night in with take away and bad sci fi movies, and generally just a lot of sex and cuddling in their free time.

When Friday finally came, Roger kissed John before he left to meet Freddie. Apparently John and Brian had made plans together while Roger and Freddie were busy, they just hadn’t decided what they were going to do yet. Roger wished him luck, reminded him not to strangle Brian if they got into an argument, and started walking towards Freddie’s flat.

Freddie greeted him with a warm smile and an even warmer hug. He was holding a blanket, which surprised Roger because he wasn’t exactly sure what they could do that required a blanket. 

“Ready?” Freddie asked, not giving anything away.

Roger nodded, deciding to be brave and taking Freddie’s hand. Their fingers wove together and Roger’s skin tingled happily. He let Freddie lead them on their way, never questioning how easy Freddie was to follow.

It was a bit confusing, however, when they ended up at the park. Roger spent a bit of time glancing around, trying to figure out what Fred’s plan could have been and ignoring the self-satisfied grin on Freddie’s face.

They ended up at the amphitheater, where quite a few other people were milling around, sitting on blankets or on the grass, keeping an eye on the stage which was littered which amps, rigging and instruments.

“A concert?” Roger said in surprise.

Freddie was already unfolding the blanket and laying it out carefully. They were far enough away that they could sit comfortably together away from the eyes of the other people in the park, but close enough they would be able to hear the music just fine.

They sat down together and Freddie looked at him a bit nervously. It reminded Roger of the first night they spent time alone together, all those months ago, at the pub. “Is this alright? I’m not quite sure who is playing. I just remembered that there was going to be live music here tonight. I thought that even if the performers are terrible, we could still have a bit of fun.”

Roger laughed. “Just like at the pub. Yes, Fred, this is great.”

Apparently, Freddie had gotten them there just in time, because not long after that, a band of three middle-aged men came on stage and the crowd cheered. This time, Freddie was the one who took Roger’s hand. Roger gave it a squeeze, smiling brightly at Freddie before turning his attention to the music.

None of the performers were awful, but none of them played music he preferred. It didn’t really matter, though, because his mind was definitely preoccupied with thinking about Freddie. The way that Freddie’s hand felt in his own. The fact that Roger could kiss Freddie if the moment felt right if he wanted to. And god did he want to.

For that moment, Roger was content to just hold Freddie’s hand and lean over enough to rest his head on Freddie’s shoulder. It was comfortable and intimate, and Roger didn’t feel the need to push for more. Not when this was so much more than he ever thought he could have.

The concert itself only lasted a couple hours, but they decided to leave a bit early. They were getting a bit bored with the music, and apparently Freddie had something else planned for them.

“It’s not much. I would do more if I could. And I will, one day. Once we are rich and famous. But for now, I thought we might try out that little hole in the wall place down the street.”

The little restaurant turned out to be a great find. It was small and cramped, but there weren’t very many other people there. They served mostly Indian food, homemade by one of the nicest women Roger had ever met named Fatima. She took to Freddie quite quickly, even insisting on making them some jalebi without charge for dessert. 

“We will have to bring the boys here next week. Plenty of vegan options for Bri, and Deaky can enjoy this lovely cheese naan,” Freddie suggested, still munching on his food.

Roger nodded in agreement. The food was fantastic and surprisingly cheap. He wouldn’t be surprised if this became their new favorite restaurant. 

“Can I ask you something, Fred?” Roger asked. Sitting there eating Indian food with Freddie, who had definitely ordered in a different language that Fatima had understood and responded to, Roger began to wonder about the language his soul mark was written in and the story Freddie had told him.

Freddie nodded, putting down his next bite so that he could focus on Roger.

“I know you don’t really talk about it, so if you still don’t want to that’s fine,” Roger said, playing with the cloth napkin in front of him. “I was just wondering about my soul mark. Is it in Indian? Is that where you’re from?”

There was a moment of silence and Freddie tilted his head as he thought about Roger’s question. But he smiled at Roger, and Roger felt a bit better knowing he hadn’t accidentally offended Freddie or anything.

“It’s a bit complicated. I went to boarding school outside Bombay. But I was actually born in Zanzibar. That’s where my family lived until we had to move here. Kind of a messy situation,” Freddie explained.

“Messy?”

Freddie shrugged. “There was a little revolution. We most likely would’ve been killed if we had stayed. No big deal.”

Roger gasped, unable to keep himself from reaching forward to take Freddie’s hand. Perhaps it was a bit dramatic, but the mere idea of Freddie not being in the world, of Roger’s soul mark turning white before he had even gotten to meet Freddie, had Roger needing a bit of physical reassurance. “That’s awful.”

“It turned out alright. Like I told you before, I always wanted to move here. And now I’ve even found you.”

“So, your name is in… Zanzibarian…?” Roger bit his tongue, embarrassed. He realized belatedly he didn’t even know where Zanzibar was. “Or…”

Freddie laughed so hard he almost fell off his chair, attracting the attention of Fatima and the few other customers. Roger giggled, knowing how dumb he must have sounded but loving the sound of Freddie’s laugh and the way Freddie smiled without trying to hide it. 

“It’s Gujarati, actually. Like I said, my history is a bit complicated. Plenty of persecution and fleeing for all. It’s similar to Hindi, I guess.” Freddies finger traced over the tabletop, and Roger wondered if he was writing out his name. “And it doesn’t say Freddie. It says Farrokh Bulsara.”

“Farrokh,” Roger repeated, letting the name roll over his tongue. “I like it.”

It felt good, knowing Freddie trusted him enough to tell him. And more, that he didn’t even hesitate to do so. 

They left soon after that, taking the time to say goodbye to Fatima as they paid their bill, promising to return to try even more of her food, promises of specially cooked samosas and paneers Roger could feel his mouth watering just hearing about. 

Roger decided to walk Freddie back to his flat since it was the closest. They held hands again, though they were a bit more subtle about it now that it was night time and they weren’t sure what kind of crazies would be out and about. 

There was no one around outside Freddie’s flat. Roger hesitated, not wanting to go inside knowing that this was a date and not wanting to be tempted into anything that would be too much on their first date like he might’ve done with one of his past girlfriends. He grabbed Freddie’s other hand and turned him so that they could face each other.

Freddie’s eyes were wide and his grip tight on Roger’s hands. Roger could tell Freddie was just as nervous as him. But Roger knew exactly what he wanted to do. What he had wanted to do since the moment he first saw Freddie, and what he thought he would never be able to do.

“Fred? Can I kiss you?” Roger whispered, moving a bit closer so that he could feel Freddie’s breath tickling his face. Freddie was breathing a bit heavily, just the anticipation making his heart race and his breaths come faster. Not that Roger wasn’t in the same boat.

With only the tiniest bit of hesitation, the feeling of taboo that hadn’t quite ebbed away for them despite having permission from both John and Brian, Freddie nodded. He angled his mouth up, but waited for Roger to make the move.

After a deep breath to steady himself, Roger moved forward, feeling like he was jumping into an ocean. The effect was instantaneous. His mark burned pleasurably, running through his entire body. Roger wanted to gasp at the feeling, but instead clung tight to Freddie, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close, only increasing the heady feeling. It was just like their last kiss, but neither of them pulled away and it was so much more, not dulled by too much alcohol and lack of sleep. Roger thought he might have been in heaven.

Too soon, they had to pull away for breath. Freddie’s fingers were digging almost painfully into Roger’s shoulders, but he didn’t mind. It was almost like the world was spinning around them, and they both had to hold on to each other so that they didn’t fly away.

“That was nice,” Roger managed to say, still panting a bit.

“What an understatement,” Freddie agreed.

They both laughed, finally loosening their holds on each other a bit. “I guess I should get going then. But we should do this again soon,” Roger said.

“Very soon.”

With another hug and a quick kiss that had them both giggling again, Roger reluctantly turned to leave. He snuck several glances over his shoulder as he walked, smiling every time when Freddie was watching him leave, peeking out through his open door, one foot pushed behind him most likely to keep his cat from sneaking out.

Roger returned home in a fantastic mood, finding John on the couch, listening to music and a bit drunk. Together, they went into the bedroom for a good night’s sleep, hugging and kissing and excited about how amazing their lives were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited a tiny bit because I finally learned the difference between Parsi and Gujarati (eh, sort of. Enough to know Gujarati is the actual language.)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waiting two months until they felt the time is right, Roger and Freddie finally decide they are ready to take their relationship to the next level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up changing it up a bit. There was no way I could keep both bits I wanted in Freddie's POV into one chapter without it being too long. So next chapter will be Freddie's POV interlude.

They had tried their best to plan everything perfectly. It had been two months since their first date, longer than either Roger or Freddie had ever waited to have sex with someone, but they had been hesitant to cross that bridge until they knew for sure that everyone was really on board.

Roger, of course, had spent more than enough time talking to John about it. His urge to tell John everything had only increased since he started spending more time with Freddie, but it seemed to end up being okay as John smiled excitedly through all of Roger’s stories and it only seemed to make John trust him more. It seemed Freddie was doing the same with Brian, though probably for different reasons. Freddie and Brian’s relationship was still new. They didn’t know every single bit of each other like Roger and John seemed to. But they were still making it work, aided by Roger urging Freddie to be open about their relationship and, apparently, John and Brian plotting behind their backs.

None of that stopped Roger from almost physically shaking as he and Freddie told the others that they were thinking about having sex. Two months was a long time to wait, and there had been more than a few times that their intense make out sessions had been turning towards something more before they stopped themselves. They were ready, if not a bit terrified about what that would mean for their relationships both with each other and with their boyfriends. 

Despite their reactions so far, Roger was still surprised when John and Brian agreed so quickly, then proceeded to giggle about how long it had taken them. Roger and Freddie stared at each other in confusion, but then smiled. It really was just like their boyfriends. The important part was that they were supportive of the idea and almost seemed more excited than Roger and Freddie were about them having sex. 

But they were both still nervous as hell about it. So, maybe a bit too much time went into planning it out together. A day neither of them had to work and the band didn’t have any obligations. Night time, after a nice, relaxing dinner together. At Freddie’s flat, so that John wasn’t sexiled and Roger could stay the night after comfortably. Freddie got condoms, Roger brought lube. They even decided they would put on their favorite Jimi Hendrix album in the background, reminiscent of the first night they spent together at the very beginning of it all. 

Everything was planned. But nothing was perfect.

Roger had spent the entire night before clinging onto John, wondering why the idea of having sex with Freddie still felt so taboo even after months of working up to it and countless conversations of John reassuring Roger that everything would be fine. 

“You’re just going to be nervous until it happens. And then you will realize how normal it feels and everything will be fine. Just like after your first kiss,” John had told him patiently.

Which would make sense. Roger did feel completely comfortable kissing Freddie now, and did it quite often. One of his favorite moments in the last two months had been when the four of them were hanging out in the kitchen while John and Roger attempted to make them all dinner. Roger had kissed John for no good reason, as he liked to do. Then he noticed Freddie pretending to pout from where he was being held by Brian, his back to Brian’s chest. Roger decided to march over and kiss him too, just a short peck. It wan’t the first time he and Freddie had kissed in front of the others, but they still didn’t do it very often. But then Brian had wolf whistled, and John had laughed and Roger decided to just kiss them both repeatedly, stepping back and forth between them for short kisses until all four of them were laughing. It had been wonderful. Roger wondered if more moments like that were in store for him once he and Freddie finally took their relationship to the next level.

But Roger hadn’t been the only one who was nervous. Freddie showed up twenty minutes late to their date, apologizing profusely. Apparently he had spent so long trying to pick out the perfect outfit that he had lost track of time, then there had been road construction on the route Freddie had taken to the restaurant that he had to back track and walk all the way around. 

Neither of them ate more than a couple bites. Roger did, however, drink a beer and two glasses of water, so he ended up having to run to the bathroom not once but twice in the middle of their date. All in all, in was an unsuccessful dinner. But there was still hope of the rest of the night getting better. 

The walk back to Freddie’s flat was long since they had to go around the construction and Freddie ended up hurting his foot by tripping over a large rut in the sidewalk. He was able to make it the rest of the way, but it still hurt. And by the time they made it to the flat and Freddie decided to go ahead and put the music on just to help them both relax only to realize that his record player had a short and wouldn’t turn on, Roger was beginning to think that maybe it was the universe’s way of telling them not to do anything that night.

“John could fix it,” Roger suggested as they peered down at the broken record player.

Freddie shrugged. Asking John to come over to do repair work on the night that Roger and Freddie were supposed to have sex for the first time wasn’t really something either of them wanted to do. Not to mention, Roger wouldn’t be surprised at all if John had invited Brian over for a bit of booze and offered Brian the couch for the night, so he probably wasn’t in any state to be driving over.

That was it, Roger couldn’t take it anymore. “Why does this shit keep happening? Are we bloody cursed or something?” he said in frustration, his hands flailing out wildly.

With a wary gaze, Freddie shrugged back at Roger. “I don’t know, dear. Maybe we should just go to bed early?”

It was as good a plan as any. Roger didn’t exactly feel like sleeping just yet, but his body was overly tense and maybe if he laid down he would get tired and fall asleep. Unless something happened to fuck that up as well.

“Lead the way, I guess,” Roger agreed.

Roger had slept in Freddie’s bed plenty of times, but that was really just because he had done it so many times when they were just friends and stayed over at each other’s places after long nights at pubs. So that at least was something that felt normal to Roger. 

They were both quiet as they changed. Or stripped really, as they both slept in their underwear and usually one or both of them kept their shirts on as an extra buffer between them. Roger kept his eyes away from Freddie until they were both climbing into bed and Freddie was tucked safely away beneath the duvet and Roger’s eyes wouldn’t wander.

“Ready for the light?” Roger said as he reached out towards the lamp on the nightstand to switch it off, still on his knees facing the head of the bed.

Freddie nodded, but suddenly Roger forgot what he was doing. Because the way Freddie looked in the low light with his eyes soft and warm, staring at Roger so vulnerably. It all suddenly hit him at once, as if his body had been waiting for him to realize how strongly he felt about Freddie. Because Roger’s love for Freddie in that moment was so overwhelming that it left him paralyzed and speechless. And he knew Freddie was feeling exactly the same.

It wasn’t like that first mess of a kiss, where they both moved at the same time as if pulled by some invisible string. It wasn’t like their first real kiss either, where Roger had known exactly what he wanted and had taken it as soon as the time was right. This was much slower, much more powerful. It was something Roger had only felt once in his life before, something that was so strong it still scared the shit out of him, just as much now as it had with John. But at the same time it was completely irresistible. 

They kissed softly at first, tentatively, both so unsure at the intensity of the moment. Roger’s skin buzzed, almost feeling on fire where his bare skin touched Freddie’s bare chest. But the feeling was too strong, and they both pulled each other in closer at the same time. 

Roger crawled into Freddie’s lap and wrapped his arms around Freddie’s shoulders and Freddie’s arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him as close as he possibly could. It was more skin contact than they had ever initiated before, and mixed with the taste of Freddie’s lips, the way he clung to Roger so tightly, the passion and love that filled the air, Roger was burning. He wasn’t sure he would survive if they went further.

But that didn’t stop him from trying. When they were ready, they tugged each other’s pants down, pausing just long enough to revel in the sight of each other gloriously and beautifully naked for the first time. It burned when Freddie’s hand stroked Roger’s cock. It burned when Roger pressed lube-slicked fingers into Freddie and worked him open. 

Roger actually thought he might’ve lit on fire as he pressed inside Freddie. His skin was a choir singing Freddie’s praises, and the hottest thing of all was Freddie, clenching tightly all around him and burning like a sun. And then Freddie’s hand went to the golden marks on Roger’s hip, fingers digging in and feeling like molten hot pillars of pure pleasure. It rang through Roger’s entire body, and he was barely able to remember to move his own hand over Freddie’s marks, hearing Freddie crying out, begging, asking more more, asking Roger for something he wasn’t sure he could give.

The pace increased and the heat rose until finally a wave washed over them. The explosion was comparable to a supernova. Roger could feel himself shouting into Freddie’s skin, could feel Freddie’s cock twitching as he came. It was the most intense thing Roger had ever felt in his life.

It felt like it took hours for them to cool down. Roger, in his post orgasm haze, searched the bed and was surprised not to find scorch marks on the sheets. They had rolled over, Freddie curled safely in his arms and purring like a fucking cat. 

“Holy shit,” Roger whispered. He stroked a hand through Freddie’s hair and sighed when Freddie kissed his chest in return.

“Agreed,” Freddie chuckled. “I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

Roger hadn’t either. It was something only soulmates could feel, the pleasure of two souls finding each other against all odds and joining into one for a short moment. Roger had never once in his life thought it would feel like that. But now he understood. 

“We should do that again soon,” Roger said, earning another laugh from Freddie.

There was a tickling sensation as Freddie’s fingers started to tap out a rhythm against Roger’s ribcage, but Freddie’s smile stayed pressed against Roger’s skin. “Very soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I was singing Don't Stop Me Now as I wrote that sex scene. Freddie really is Mr. Fahrenheit, at least in Roger's eyes.


	14. Interlude 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie's POV
> 
> Freddie goes to John to talk about his insecurities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this week has gone by so quickly, I honestly didn't know it had been so long since my last update. Sorry, y'all!

Freddie stood nervously outside Roger and John’s flat, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door. He had been there about ten minutes already, knowing that Roger was gone taking a make up exam for a class. John should have been home, though. Actually, Freddie was almost sure of it because when he held his breath and listened, he could hear soft music playing from inside. Something boppy and disco-y like John preferred.

Freddie just had to bite the bullet and do it. He had been avoiding them for a week. A few days after he and Roger had had sex, Roger casually came to sit in Freddie’s lap instead of John’s while they were all hanging out. Something about it just set Freddie off. He tried to hide it, attempting to keep his voice steady as he excused himself to the bathroom, but he figured they must have noticed something off about him. They always did.

He had spent the entire week freaking out, spent most of that night after leaving John and Roger’s place throwing up. His stomach hadn’t settled for a moment all week.

It seemed to be hitting him all of a sudden that it was really happening. Roger was his soulmate, and despite being completely in love with John, he was choosing to be with Freddie as well. And though it seemed Roger had finally gotten over that taboo feeling, Freddie’s had only gotten worse.

It felt like he had betrayed John, betrayed Brian. His closest friends, his wonderful boyfriend. And honestly, Brian was the first boyfriend Freddie had ever had who made him feel loved and supported. He hated himself for doing something so awful, something that could potentially hurt Brian so badly. But at the same time he hated himself for being so stupid about the situation. There were countless conversations where Brian and John had reassured him he and John were okay with them having sex. And yet here Freddie was, making himself sick with worry. 

The logical part of his brain knew he needed to talk to someone. That’s why he was here. John was the one who would be the most affected, who if it were anyone else could’ve been beating Freddie’s brains in just for looking at Roger. John was also so level headed, and Roger had told Freddie how much John had helped him through his own anxieties. 

But he could help worrying John was going to get annoyed at Freddie’s petty whining and kick him right back out the door.

It was only the knowledge that keeping this to himself could end up hurting the others even worse that gave Freddie the strength to knock on the door. He waited for awhile, until Freddie realized how softly he had knocked, and how loud the music must have been inside. With a deep sigh, he knocked again, louder.

Sure enough, he heard the music turn off and footsteps came closer to the door until it opened to reveal John’s face. He smiled brightly when he saw Freddie, which sent a spike of pain through Freddie’s chest. 

“Freddie! Good to see you! Please come in.”

It was so cordial, the words burned in Freddie. He felt like the worst person in the universe. John ushered him inside.

“Would you like some tea? The kettle is still hot,” John asked him as they walked into the kitchen together. Freddie nodded, figuring it might give him something to do with his hands. He could already feel himself tugging at the end of his jumper nervously.

Freddie watched as John poured him a cup of his favorite tea, adding just enough milk and sugar. Exactly the way Freddie liked it. Freddie could burst into tears right at that moment. It was so domestic it hurt.

John placed the cup gently in front of Freddie and smiled again. “So to what do I owe the pleasure?”

The cup was hot and Freddie closed his eyes to feel the burn. He tried to smile back at John, but knew it came as more of a grimace.

“I was… wondering if I could talk to you about something,” Freddie asked.

“Of course. Anything.” John moved around the table to sit next to Freddie, turning so that they could face each other. “Does it have anything to do with you and Roger?”

Freddie chuckled humorlessly. “You know it.”

John patted his knee before taking a sip of his own tea. “Okay. Whenever you’re ready then. I won’t judge, I promise.”

It took Freddie a moment, his throat tight and his lungs short of air. But John was patient and he didn’t get annoyed with Freddie as he waited for him to be ready.

“It’s just… it’s too overwhelming. I feel like I’m constantly second guessing myself about it all. Even knowing you and Brian are both okay with it, I still feel like… like I might step out of bounds accidentally, might break some secret rule and fuck everything up. You three are the best things that ever happened to me. If you left me, if it was my fault for being an idiot, I don’t know what I would do with myself.”

The kitchen was silent as Freddie’s rant came to an end. Freddie was a bit out of breath, tears were stinging in his eyes, but he already felt a little better, like a weight coming off his chest. 

John cleared his throat. “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way, Freddie. I’m sorry it’s been weighing on you for so long. I wish you had come to us sooner. Or even just me.”

“I’m sorry,” Freddie whispered. 

“No, don’t be,” John insisted, reaching out to grab Freddie’s hand. “I think maybe we should’ve established better ground rules, so that you could know for sure what would be crossing the line. But we are all so new to this. And Brian and I honestly never thought for a second that you two could do something that would make us uncomfortable.”

Freddie turned his head away, but John was quick to catch his chin with his fingers and make Freddie look at him again.

“I’m serious, Freddie. I really am okay with everything you two have done so far and everything I can possibly imagine you two doing. The other day? When Roger sat in your lap? I was very much okay with that. Hell, I was about to go sit in Brian’s lap just for a laugh.” They both chuckled a bit, John’s hand still on Freddie’s face. “But if you need to, we can sit down and give more specific rules. Just like… a list of specific things that are okay to do and not okay to do. “

“No, no, I don’t think that’s necessary,” Freddie said, slightly embarrassed at the thought.

John shook his head. “Freddie, if that’s what you need to feel comfortable with this, we would all be more than happy to do it. We said we would work it out if any of us felt uncomfortable at any point. That includes you.”

Freddie bit his lip and thought about it. John was right. And Freddie really did want this to work. He knew all of them did. So he tried to think about what specifically was bothering him.

“I’m fine when it’s just Roger and me. I don’t worry as much. It’s easier to relax and just focus on him and being together. I still worry a bit, but…”

“But…”

Suddenly, things made a little more sense to Freddie. “Maybe we could work on Rog and I doing a bit more in front of you and Brian? Obviously not /that, but kissing and holding hands? So that I feel a bit better and know that you two really are okay with those sorts of things?”

John nodded. “Yeah, we can definitely do that. I think that’s a really good idea.”

The weight was almost gone now. Freddie could breathe a little easier. And John’s hand had moved down to hold Freddie’s, rubbing soothing circles on his skin.

“Hey, Freddie?” John asked after awhile.

“Hmm?”

John smiled, a little more mischievously this time. “Wanna go cuddle on the couch?”

“What?”

“You look like you could use a good cuddle. We could call Brian over, turn on the telly, and wait for Rog to get home?”

Honestly that sounded wonderful to Freddie. “You would really want to do that?”

“Really, really,” John answered, already standing and pulling Freddie up to his feet.

They really did cuddle, which was a bit mind boggling to Freddie knowing John wasn’t nearly as touchy as he or Roger were. He must’ve really liked Freddie if he could handle Freddie’s head nestled on his chest and Freddie’s arm and leg thrown over him. But it was so comfortable, Freddie almost fell asleep before Brian or Roger got there.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger just wants to enjoy a nice night with John, but there's a burning question in his mind that he can't stop thinking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait on this one. I started my new job and it has kicked my butt. This is my first day off since I started and I am still so sore and exhausted. But luckily I was able to get this chapter finished and posted! I don't think it's my best work, but it's got some soft Joger fluff and that's all that really matters.

If someone had told Roger five years ago what his life would be now, he wouldn’t have believed them. Never would he have let himself hope to have this sort of happiness, and more, with the very strong feeling that things were only going to get better soon. He had John, the love of his life, the man who supported him in everyway and somehow, against all odds, loved Roger back. He had Freddie, his soulmate, the man he was destined to love with all of his heart as their souls pulled them together. And he had Brian, his best friend in the whole world, who Roger was starting to think… well, maybe that was getting a bit ahead of himself. But really, if this next conversation with John went the way Roger wanted and expected it to, it only seemed like the next logical step in this long, strange journey they were on.

Roger and John were spending a much needed night alone together. The week had been hectic, the end of another long round of successful gigs, a couple meetings with different record companies in a sad attempt to get someone to listen to them or record a nice demo, ending with a fight over basically nothing between the four of them that had been resolved with ice cream and hugs but left them all sore and exhausted.

John had already grabbed a stack of their favorite movies and piled them next to the TV before scurrying into the kitchen to make popcorn. Roger had poured them drinks and broken into their stash of chocolates and sweets (mostly hidden just to keep them from Freddie) to munch on. 

The smell of popcorn filled the room. Roger watched with what he knew was the biggest, goofiest smile on his face as John squinted at the popcorn, doing his best to keep any of the kernels from burning. John had on a shirt that was too long for him, one Roger was fairly certain was Brian’s, probably left behind from one of his and John’s sleepovers. No trousers were underneath, only a pair of briefs that left little to the imagination. Not that there was much to ogle, to Roger’s chagrin, with the long shirt covering the good stuff. Yet the image was very much enticing to Roger. John’s long, bare legs were more than enough to have Roger resisting the urge to spin him around and start humping his leg.

As it was, Roger was much more content to just lean against the wall and take in the gorgeous sight of his boyfriend. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” John said dryly as he took the popcorn away from the heat, trying to reach out blindy for the large bowl on the counter with his free hand.

“Don’t tempt me. You know I’ll go grab your camera,” Roger teased back as he hurried forward to help. He handed the bowl to John with a smile, stealing a kiss when John was far enough from the heat not to burn himself.

Soon, Roger was comfortably secured in John’s arms with his back to John’s chest and inhaling the amazing popcorn piled in the bowl between his legs. The intro of Barbarella was playing on the TV. A cheesy movie, but Roger liked it. John wouldn’t admit it, but he liked the movie as much as Roger. John also refused to admit it, but Roger was quite sure that John had wanked to Jane Fonda’s Barbarella at least once, if not as many times as Roger had when he was younger.

And yet, as the movie progressed, Roger couldn’t quite focus on it. He kept thinking of everything he wanted to talk to John about. Mostly, Roger was just eager to know what John thought and felt, how he would react. Even more so, if they would decide to do anything about it. Roger hadn’t wanted to do it tonight though. Tonight was supposed to be about them. But something in Jane Fonda’s gorgeous face had Roger aching to do it.

“Deaks?”

“Yeah?”

Roger carefully pulled John’s arms off of him, sitting up just enough to move the popcorn to the table and turning around to look at John. John moved his hands to Roger’s legs, looking at him in confusion. “I want to talk to you about something.”

The movie continued in the background, already entirely forgotten. “Okay. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is the best, love,” Roger assured him. “I’ve just been thinking about something lately and it only seemed right to talk to you about it.”

They took a moment for Roger to scoot even closer so that his legs were draped over John’s in a way that looked uncomfortable but allowed him to kiss John easily when he nodded to urge Roger to continue.

“So, I think that starting this relationship with Freddie has actually worked surprisingly well. I was terrified at first, but it really seems like it’s been good for everyone. And I think a big part of that has been you and Brian, supporting us and wanting us to be happy. And, fuck Deaks, I love you so fucking much for it. I never thought I would ever have something like this in my life.”

John’s smile was soft, reaching his eyes and making the cool grey warm and inviting. “I’m glad everything worked out. I knew from the start that you two were perfect for each other. It was just a matter of trust and you proved that we could trust you. I was scared when I realized Freddie was your soulmate, but you and Freddie made me comfortable enough, secure enough, to be okay with it all. So thank you for that. I’m really glad you’re happy. I’m happy too. I love you so much.”

They kissed again. Roger giggled and happily pressed his forehead against John’s. It was impossible to put the feelings and the bizarre, wonderful situation into words. But words didn’t matter..

“That wasn't it, was it?” John asked.

“No,” Roger shook his head. “I’ve actually been thinking about… something else. It’s worked out so well for Freddie and me that I can’t help wondering if it would work out just as well for someone else.”

John tilted his head in confusion. “Well, I really doubt that we are the first in the world to do this, and definitely not the last.”

“Well, yeah. But that’s not what I meant. I mean, like…” Roger bit his lip. He decided to change tactics, not sure how to finish his previous sentence. “I guess I’ve been noticing, and really I’ve been noticing it since the day we met Freddie, how you two interact sometimes.”

“Okay?”

“It’s clear that you two love each other. And I know sometimes I’ve teased you about being attracted to him. But you are. You like him. And he likes you too.”

John’s eyes flickered away from Roger’s. “Of course we like each other, we’re friends.” But it was clear that John hadn’t actually misunderstood Roger with the way that he was starting to look a bit nervous. Roger hoped he wasn’t overstepping. But isn’t this basically what John and Brian had done for him and Freddie? Sure, it had been scary, but he was now immensely thankful that John had forced Roger to confront his feelings.

“You know what I mean, babe. And you also know that I’m not angry about it.” Roger smiled, happy when John turned back to him to smile back sheepishly. “I was wondering if maybe we should try the two of you… well, doing whatever you guys think you would like to do. Dating and whatnot.”

“So… you and me dating, Freddie and Brian dating, you and Freddie dating, and me and Freddie dating? That sounds complicated,” John pointed out.

Roger shrugged. “It’s already complicated.”

“And what about Brian? He would be a little left out in this hypothetical.”

That was true. “You could date him too, if you wanted. It would probably make those sleepovers of yours a lot more fun.” Roger winked, loving the way a bit of red started to creep over John’s cheeks and down his neck. God, he just wanted to trace that blush with his lips and see how red he could make his boyfriend go. He would definitely be doing that later.

“I was thinking something more like,” John’s fingers played nervously over Roger’s legs, “you could date Brian. I mean, you told me that the only reason you never tried anything with him was because you still thought he was straight back then. I know you love him. I think you two could be really amazing together. Just like we are. Just like you and Freddie are”

Something squeezed tightly around Roger’s lungs, both in excitement and anxiety. “So, are we basically suggesting that the four of us should all date each other?”

The same thought seemed to occur to John. “I mean, I guess so? Do you think Brian and Freddie would be interested in something like that?”

Roger thought about the way he often caught Freddie looking at John, so similar to the way Freddie looked at him and Brian, but also unique to John. Like John was someone to be protected and cherished at all costs. The way Freddie smiled every time John walked into the room and always complimented John’s work in practices or when he wore a new jacket. He also thought about the moments he had shared with Brian over the years. Stargazing in quiet fields, playing amazing music in perfect rhythm to each other, the night they had tumbled into Brian’s bed together after a night at a pub and Roger realized how badly he wanted to kiss Brian and swore for a moment that Brian wanted to kiss him too. The way that Brian smiled when he saw Roger and John together.

“Yeah, I think they would be,” he whispered, leaning close to John again. 

John nodded.

“Let’s talk to them later, though,” Roger suggested. He reached out to grab the remote, stopping and rewinding the movie so that they could start again from the beginning. “We’ve earned this night together, just the two of us.

With an urgency that made them both burst into laughter, John grabbed Roger around the middle and pulled him into his lap. It was a pain on Roger’s legs, and Roger ended up kneeing John in the stomach, but John didn’t seem to care as he pressed his smiling lips to Roger’s and kissed him so deeply Roger could do nothing but melt into him.

Yes, they could save the conversation with Brian and Freddie for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would want to photoshop Roger's face onto Barbarella's body to make Rogerella (psssh, Rogerina, who's she), that would maybe be the best thing ever.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger reflects on how amazing life is now that they are all dating. He never thought he could be so happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! The final chapter! It's not as much as I wanted to give, as this was actually supposed to be two chapters worth of material (before I realized I would just be writing the exact same conversation from when Freddie and Roger started dating), but I'm hoping this will do. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is still with me after sixteen chapters. Thank you to anyone who waited until the fic was complete and are reading it now! I hope everyone enjoyed and I can't wait to see you for whatever I write next!

Roger wasn’t shocked at all when everything ended up going smoothly. He wasn’t surprised when John’s nerves got the best of him and he went out of his way to try to make everything perfect the night that they decided to talk to Brian and Freddie about it all. He wasn’t surprised when Freddie saw the flowers and candles John had covered the apartment with and squealed in delight. And he certainly wasn’t surprised when Brian beamed at the dishes of vegetarian food Roger had helped John painstakingly cook.

In the end, they had kept the conversation simple. 

“We have a suggestion. And the more we think about it, the more it makes absolute sense and we are idiots for not thinking about it sooner.”

Brian and Freddie had been shocked at first, but eagerly agreed after thinking about it more. Realizing how much sense it really made. It was like they were all meant to be together.

No, what surprised Roger was how easy it continued to be. He had expected more fighting, more insecurities, more jealousy. They were four egotistical drama queens in one band, after all. They were used to fighting and making up and ignoring each other and taking sides and everything ending up just fine every single time. Maybe that was why it was so easy, actually. They had had plenty of practice.

That wasn’t to say everything was perfect, but it still seemed ridiculous how easy it was. They still fought occasionally, but it was mostly petty bickering. Occasionally feelings were hurt, and it was easy enough to swallow prides and apologize and have some nice kissing and making up sessions.

Their first time together was also, against all odds, quite easy as well. None of them had been sure how it would work. Roger was the only one with any experience in having sex with more than one person at once, and even that experience was limited and the memory was a drunken blur. But they had all wanted to try.

They started simple. John fucking Roger while Brian fucked Freddie, lying next to each other in Roger and John’s bed. It was how Roger found out he could lean over and kiss Freddie, touching his soulmark to cause Freddie to clamp down around Brian in pleasure, making Brian groan on cue at the feeling. Freddie also learned he could do the same.

Another night, Freddie and Roger had been giggling and making out ike teenagers on the couch, only to be joined by John and Brian when they came to investigate the noises. They ended up being very adventurous, doing rounds of very enticing blow jobs. Roger and John got down on their knees and took turns using their mouths on Freddie and then on Brian. Then John got his turn, laying flat on the floor and letting the others get a bit of rug burn as they explored his body. It ended with Roger whining about being last, only to be pushed over to straddle John’s face, with his cock in John’s mouth, Freddie eating him out, and Brian kissing him passionately and swallowing Roger’s cries.

There was just something so amazing about the feeling Roger got laying in Brian’s arms, sweaty and naked, looking over to where John was wrapped around Freddie and getting two tired but happy smiles. His heart couldn’t be fuller. It was warm and fuzzy and overwhelming and perfect. Roger loved them all so much, he sometimes forgot to breathe properly when he was with them.

“I’m really glad we found you, Fred,” Roger whispered. A part of him wished he hadn’t broken the comfortable silence, but in moments like these he really had no filter.

“What do you mean?” Freddie asked.

Roger could feel Brian playing with his hair. Similarly, Freddie was already running his fingers lightly up and down John’s side like he was playing piano. “When we found you, we all found each other. That’s amazing.”

He heard the others giggle. “You sound like you’ve been drinking, sweetheart. You usually only talk in cheesy cliches when you’re wankered or songwriting,” John said, smirking. He still leaned over to kiss the tip of Roger’s nose so that Roger knew he was only joking.

“Fuck off,” Roger answered, not able to hide his smile. “You can’t deny you’re happy about it too.”

“We all are,” Brian said. At least Roger wasn’t the only one being a bit cheesy.

“It really does make sense when you think about it,” Freddie said after another bit of silence passed. “It’s like when you say that just because we are soulmates, doesn’t mean we will want to date each other. But it would make sense for us to be so similar that we fall in love with the same people.” 

It did kind of make sense if Roger thought about it like that. He and Freddie had so much in common. This could be just another thing to add to the list of ways their souls were one. 

“Guess that means you should be happy you found John and me,” Brian smirked. “That we are just as stupidly in love with the both of you as you are with us.”

Roger snorted, then buried his face between Brian’s arm and his side to hide his face as he laughed. 

“I thank whatever force guided us together every single day,” Freddie said wistfully. “I believe I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

John poked Roger on the shoulder, summoning him out of his little nook in Brian’s armpit to rejoin the sappy conversation. “It really is strange though, isn’t it?” he said. “If someone had told me all of a year ago that I would be not only in love with but also shagging my boyfriend, my boyfriend’s soulmate, and my best friend, I wouldn’t have believed it. I’m not even sure how it came to this, even if I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“True. I can’t really believe it now. It seems like a dream sometimes,” Brian agreed. “And then Fred starts nagging me about lyrics and key changes and I remember it’s all real life.”

Brian shifted to smack Freddie’s arm, having to roll slightly to reach and almost squishing Roger. John laughed at Roger’s helpless expression. 

“God, I’m dating such arseholes,” Roger said with a laugh. The others laughed too.

Roger couldn’t deny how happy he was though. Whether they were all together and happy or they were fighting over stupid little things, he loved them all so much and he was happier than he ever thought he could be.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! This is just a short beginning, more to come, hopefully soon! Feel free to drop by and chat on tumblr: unicornsapplesandstuff.tumblr.com !


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